Divine Mercy Diary - Notebook 2 (Page 1 of 2)
Preface | Introduction
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Divine Mercy
In my soul

The Diary
of the Servant of God
Sister M. Faustina Kowalska

Perpetually Professed member
of the
Congregation of Sisters of
Our Lady of Mercy

NOTEBOOK II

Sr. Faustina, Diary
Notebook II

(1)
J.M.J.
The mercy of the Lord I will sing forever,
Before all the people I will sing it,
For it is God’s greatest attribute
And for us an unending miracle.

You gush forth from the Divine Trinity,
But from one single womb filled with love.
The mercy of the Lord will be revealed in the soul
In all its fullness, when the veil falls.

From the fountain of Your Mercy, O Lord,
Flows all happiness and life,
And thus, all creatures and the whole of creation
Sing out in ecstasy a song of mercy.

The bowels of God’s mercy are opened for us
Through the life of Jesus, stretched on the Cross.
O sinner, you must not doubt or despair,
But trust in mercy, for you also can become holy.

Two streams in the form of rays
Have gushed forth from the Heart of Jesus,
not for angels, nor cherubim, nor seraphim,
but for the salvation of sinful man.



(2)
J.M.J.
O will of God,
Be my love.
My Jesus, you know that of myself I would not have written a single letter, and if I do write, it is only because of a clear command of holy obedience.

God and Souls
S.M. Faustina of the Blessed Sacrament.
O Jesus, hidden God,
My heart perceives you
Though veils hide you;
You know that I love you.
Vilnius, November 24, 1935.
Notebook Two.


(3)
J.M.J
Blessed be God!
Oh Holy Trinity, in whom is contained the inner life of God, the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit, eternal joy, inconceivable depth of love, poured out upon all creatures an constituting their happiness, honor and glory be to Your holy name forever and ever. Amen.
When I consider Your greatness and beauty, O my God, I rejoice exceedingly that the Lord I serve is so great. With love and joy I carry out His will, and the more I come to know Him, the more I desire to love Him. I burn with the desire to love Him ever more and more.

(4) The 14th. This Thursday as we were having nocturnal adoration, at first I could not pray; a sort of dryness engulfed me. I could not meditate on Jesus’ sorrowful passion. So I lay prostrate and offered the most sorrowful passion of the Lord Jesus to the heavenly Father in reparation for the sins of all the world. When I got to my feet after this prayer and walked to my kneeler, I suddenly saw Jesus next to it. The Lord Jesus appeared as He was during the scourging. In His hands He was holding a white garment with which He clothed me and a cord with which He girded me, and He covered me with a red cloak like the one He was clothed with during His Passion and a veil of the same color, and He said to me: This is how you and your companions are going to be clothed, My life from birth to death on the Cross will be the rule for you. Fix your eyes upon Me and live according to what you see. I desire that you penetrate into My Spirit more deeply and understand that I am meek and humble of heart. On one occasion, I felt an urge to set to work and fulfill whatever God is demanding of me. I entered the chapel for a moment and heard a voice in my soul saying, Why are you afraid? Do you think that I will not have enough omnipotence to support you? At that moment, my soul felt extraordinary strength, and all the adversities that could befall me in carrying out God’s will seemed as nothing to me.

On Friday during Mass, when my soul was flooded with God’s happiness, I heard these words in my soul: My mercy has passed into souls through the divine-human Heart of Jesus as a ray from the sun passes through crystal. I felt in my heart and understood that every approach to God is brought about by Jesus, in Him and through Him.

On the evening of the last day [November 15] of the novena at Ostra Brama, after the singing of the litany, one of the priests exposed the Blessed Sacrament in the Monstrance. When he placed it on the altar, I immediately saw the infant Jesus, stretching out His little arms, first of all toward His Mother, who at that time had taken on a living appearance. When the Mother of God was speaking to me, Jesus stretched out His tiny hands toward the congregation. The Blessed Mother was telling me to accept all that God asked of me like a little child, without questioning; otherwise it would not be pleasing to God. At that moment, the infant Jesus vanished, and the Mother of God was again lifeless, and Her picture was the same as it had been before. But my soul was filled with great joy and gladness, and I said to the Lord, “do with me as You please; I am ready for everything, but You, O Lord, must not abandon me even for a moment.”


J.M.J.
Tot the Glory of the Holy Trinity. I asked Mother superior [Borga} to permit me to make a forty day fast, taking once a day a piece of bread and a glass of water. However, following the advice of my confessor [Father Sopocko] Mother superior did not agree to forty days, but to seven. “I cannot take you away from your duties completely, sister, because of the other sisters who might notice something, I give you my permission to devote yourself to prayer and to note down some of these things, but it will be very difficult for me to protect you as regards the fasting. Really, I can think of no solution to this,” and she said, “go now, sister, and perhaps some light will come to me.” On Sunday morning, I understood that when Mother superior assigned me as portress during mealtime, she was doing so with the thought of giving me the opportunity to fast. In the morning, I did not go to breakfast, but, a little while later, I went to Mother superior and asked her whether I had been assigned as portress in view of making it possible for me to fast unnoticed. Mother replied, “when I assigned you, sister, it was with this in mind.” I then saw that this was the same thought that I had had interiorly.

November 24, 1935. Sunday, first day. I went at once before the Blessed Sacrament and offered myself with Jesus, present in the Most Holy Sacrament, to the everlasting Father. Then I heard these words in my soul: Your purpose and that of your companions is to unite yourselves with Me as closely as possible; through love you will reconcile earth with heaven, you will soften the just anger of God, and you will plead for mercy for the world. I please in your care two pearls very precious to My Heart; these are the souls of priests and religious. You will pray particularly for them; their power will come from your diminishment. You will join prayers, fast, mortifications, labors and all sufferings to My prayer, fasting, mortification, labors and sufferings and then they will have power before my Father. After Holy Communion, I saw the Lord Jesus, who said these words to me: Today, penetrate into the spirit of My poverty and arrange everything in such a way that the most destitute will have no reason to envy you. I find pleasure, not in large buildings and magnificent structures, but in a pure and humble heart.

When I was by myself, I began to reflect on the spirit of poverty, I clearly saw that Jesus, although He is Lord of all things, possessed nothing. From a borrowed manger He went through life doing good to all, but himself having no place to lay His Head. And on the Cross, I see the summit of His poverty, for He does not even have a garment on himself. O Jesus, through You’re solemn vow of poverty I desire to become like You; poverty will be my mother. As exteriorly we should possess nothing and have nothing to dispose of as our own, so interiorly we should desire nothing. And in the Most Blessed Sacrament, how great is Your poverty! Has there ever been a soul as abandoned as You were on the Cross, Jesus? Chastity. There is no need to explain that this vow forbids all those things prohibited by the sixth and ninth commandments: deeds, thoughts, words, feelings… I understand that a solemn vow differs from a simple vow; I understand this in all its implications. While reflecting upon this, I heard these words in my soul: You are my spouse forever; your chastity should be greater than that of the Angels, for I call no angel to such intimacy as I do you. The smallest act of My spouse is of infinite value. A pure soul has inconceivable power before God.

Obedience. have come to do My Father’s will. I obeyed my Parents, I obeyed My tormentors and now I obey the Priests. I understand, O Jesus, the spirit of obedience and in what it consists. It includes not only external performance, but also the reason, the will and judgment. Obeying our superiors, we obey God. It makes no difference whether it is an angel or a man who, acting in God’s stead, gives me orders; I must always obey. I am not going to write much about the vows, they are clear and specific. I will rather put down a few general thoughts about this congregation.

General summary. There will never be splendid houses, but only a small church with a small community consisting of a few souls, not more then ten, plus two externs to look after the external affair of the community and the church. These two sisters will not wear the habit, but secular dress; they will take simple vows, and they will depend strictly on the superior who will be cloistered. They will share in all the spiritual benefits of the congregation. There must never be more then two and, preferably, only one. Each house will be independent of the others although they will be closely united by the rule, the vows and the spirit. In exceptional cases, however, a sister from one community may be transferred to another and also, if there is question of founding a new house, some sisters may be transferred if need be, from another house. Each house will depend on the local ordinary.

Each sister will have a separate cell, but life will be communal as regards prayer, meals and recreation. Each nun, after her profession, will no longer see the world, even through a grill, as this will be covered with a dark cloth, and even the conversations will be strictly limited. She will be as if dead, not understood by the world and not understanding the world. She is to stand between heaven and earth, begging God constantly for mercy on the world and that priests be empowered so that their words be not empty and that they, in their extraordinary dignity and so exposed to risks, might keep themselves completely stainless. Though these souls will not be numerous, they will be heroic souls. There will be no room for cowardly or effeminate souls.

There will be no distinction between the sisters, no mothers, no reverends, no venerables, but all will be equal, even though there might be great differences in their parentage. We know who Jesus was, and yet how He humbled himself and with whom He associated. Their habit will be like that worn by Jesus during His Passion; and they will not simply wear the robe [He wore]; they must also seal themselves with the marks He bore; suffering and scorn. Each one will strive for the greatest self-denial and have a love of humility, and she who will distinguish herself most in this latter virtue will be the one who is capable of leading the others.

As God has made us sharers in His mercy and even more than that, dispensers of that mercy, we should therefore have great love for each soul, beginning with the elect and ending with the soul that does not yet know God. By prayer and mortification, we will make our way to the most uncivilized countries, paving the way for the missionaries. We will bear in mind that a soldier on the front line cannot hold out long without support from the rear forces that do not actually take part in the fighting but provide for all his needs; and that such is the role or prayer, and that therefore each one of us is to be distinguished by an apostolic spirit.


In the evening when I was writing, I heard a voice in my cell which said, “do not leave this congregation; have mercy upon yourself, such great sufferings are in store for you.” When I looked into the direction of the voice, I saw nothing, and I continued to write. Suddenly I heard a noise and the words: “when you leave, we will destroy you. Do not torture us.” I glanced around and saw many ugly monsters. So I mentally made the sign of the cross and they disappeared immediately. How terribly ugly satan is! The poor damned souls that have to keep him company! Just the sight of him is more disgusting than all the torments of hell.

A short time later, I heard this voice in my soul: do not fear anything; nothing will happen to you against My will. After these words of the Lord, a strange power entered my soul. I rejoiced greatly that God is so good.

Postulancy. Age of admission; any person between the ages of fifteen and thirty. Firstly, the spirit with which the candidate is imbued and her character are to be taken into consideration, whether she has a strong will and the courage to follow in Jesus’ footsteps with joy and gladness, as God loves a cheerful giver. She must despise the world and herself. The lack of a dowry will never be an obstacle to admission. All formalities concerning the candidate must be clear, no complicated cases should be admitted.

Melancholy persons, those disposed to sadness, those suffering from contagious diseases, those of an unstable character and those who are inclined to be suspicious of others are not adaptable to the religious life and must not be admitted. Members should be selected with greatest care, as one ill-fitting member is enough to throw the whole convent into confusion.

The duration of the postulancy. The postulancy will last one year. During this time, the candidate should examine whether she is attracted to this type of life and whether it is suitable to her. The directress should also diligently consider whether or not the person in question is suitable for this type of life. After a year, if the postulant shows evidence of a stable will and an earnest desire to serve God, she should be admitted to the novitiate.
The novitiate is to last one year, without any interruption. At this time the novice should be taught about the virtues relating to the vows and about the importance of the vows. The directress should do her utmost to provide a solid formation. Let her train the novices in the practice of humility, because only a humble heart keeps the vows easily and experiences the great joys that God pours out upon the faithful soul.

The novices should not be burdened with duties that entail responsibilities, so that they may be free to devote themselves to heir own perfection. They are obliged to observe the rules and statutes strictly, as are the postulants.
After a year of novitiate, if the novice proves faithful, she may be admitted to make her profession for one year. This is to be repeated for three years. She may then be given duties of responsibility. However, she will still belong to the novitiate, and once a week she must attend conferences together with the novices, and she will spend the last six months entirely in the novitiate in order to prepare well for her solemn profession.

Meals. We will have no meat. Our meals shall be such that not even the poor will have any reason to envy us. Still, feast days may differ slightly from regular days. The sisters will eat three times a day. Fasts, especially the two great ones, will be observed strictly, according to the original spirit. The food should be the same for all the nuns without exception so that communal life may be kept pure. This refers not only to food but to clothing and the furnishing of cells as well. However, if a sister should fall ill, she should receive every consideration.
Prayers. One hour of meditation, Holy Mass and Holy communion, prayers, two examinations of conscience, office, rosary, spiritual reading, one hour of prayer during the night. As to the horarium, it is better to draw it up after we have begun to live this type of life.

Suddenly I heard these words in my soul: My daughter, I assure you of a permanent income on which you will live. Your duty will be to trust completely in My goodness, and My duty will be to give you all you need. I am making Myself dependent upon your trust: if your trust will be great, then My generousity will be without limit.

Work. As poor persons, the nuns themselves will do all the work in the convent. Each one should be glad when she is given some work which is humbling or which goes against her nature, as that will greatly help her interior formation. The superior will often change the sisters’ duties, and in this way help them to detach themselves completely from the little details to which woman have a great attachment. Truly, I often find it amusing to see with my own eyes souls who have forsaken really great things only to attach themselves to fiddle faddle; that is, trifles. Each sister, including even the superior, shall work in the kitchen for a month. Every one should take a turn at every chore which is to be done in the convent. And always and in everything, their intention should be pure. For every sort of mixed motive is displeasing to God. They should accuse themselves of all external transgressions, and ask the superior for a penance. They should do this in a spirit of humility.
They should love one another with a sublime love, with a pure love, seeing God’s likeness in every sister. Love should be the special characteristic of this little community, so they must not close up their hearts, but embrace the whole world, rendering mercy to every soul through prayer, according to their calling. If we live in this spirit of mercy, we ourselves will obtain mercy.


How great should each one’s love for the Church be! As a good child prays for the mother it loves, so also should every Christian soul pray for the Church, its mother. What then should be said of us religious who have especially committed ourselves to praying for the Church? How great then is our apostolate, hidden though it be. All our little daily nothings will be placed at the feet of the Lord Jesus as a propitiatory offering for the world; but in order that our offering may be pleasing to God, it must be freed of all natural attachments, and all it affections must be directed towards the Creator, loving all creatures in Him and according to His will; and, acting thus, each with a zealous spirit will bring joy to the Church.

In addition to the vows, I see one rule as most important. Although all the rules are important, I put this one in first place, and it is silence. Truly, if this rule were to be observed strictly, I would not worry about the others. Woman are very fond of talking, but the Holy Spirit does not speak to a soul that is distracted and garrulous. He speaks by His quiet inspirations to a soul that is recollected, to a soul that knows how to keep silence. If silence were strictly observed, there would not be any grumbling, bitterness, slandering, or gossip, and charity would not be tarnished. In a word, many wrongs would not be done. Silent lips are pure gold and bear witness to holiness within.

But I want to speak immediately of a second rule; that is, speech. Keeping silent when one ought to speak is an imperfection and sometimes even a sin. And so, let all the sisters take part in recreation, and the superior should not dispense them from this except for a matter of great importance. Recreation is an opportunity for getting to know one another. Let each sister speak her mind in all simplicity for the edification of the others and not in a spirit of superiority nor, God forbid, in a quarrelsome manner, for that would not be in keeping with perfection and the spirit of our vocation, which should be especially characterized by love. Twice a day, there will be a recreation of one half hour. But if a sister breaks silence outside that time, she must accurse herself before the superior at once and ask for a penance, and the superior should punish these offenses with public penances, or else she will answer for this before the Lord.

Enclosure. No one may enter the enclosure without the special permission of the Ordinary and under very special circumstances, such as the administration of the Sacraments to the ill in order to prepare them for death, and for the burial rites. There also many be need of letting in a workman to do some repairs, but for this a specific permission will be required. The door to the enclosure will always be locked and only the superior will have the key.
The use of the parlor. Non of the sisters will make use of the parlor without special permission of the superior, and the superior should not permit frequent visits. Those who have died to the world should not be going back to it, not even through conversations. But if the superior thinks it right to permit some sister to go to the parlor, let her observe the following directions. She herself should accompany the sister, and if she cannot do so, she should arrange to be replaced by a sister who will be bound to confidence and must not repeat what she has heard, but who is to inform the superior of everything. Conversations ought to be short, unless there is permission for extra time for the sake of the person who has come for the visit. However, the curtain is not to be drawn aside, except for very special cases, as for example when a mother or father urgently asks that this be done.

Letters. Every sister may write sealed letters to the ordinary to whom the house is subject. For any other letter, permission is required, and the sister shall hand the letter unsealed to the superior. The superior is to be guided by the spirit of love and prudence, and has the right to send of withhold the letter, in the light of whatever is for the greater glory of God. However, I would like very much that such communications be as rare as possible. Let us help people by prayer and mortification, and not by correspondence.

Confession. Both the regular and the extraordinary confessors for the community will be appointed by the ordinary [Bishop]. There will be one regular confessor, and he will hear the sisters confessions once a week. The extraordinary confessor will come once every three months, and each sister is obliged to see him, even if she makes no confession. The two confessors will hold their posts in the convent for three years. Then there will be a secret vote, and the superior will submit the results to the Ordinary. The confessor can be re-appointed for an additional three years and even a third three year term. The sisters will make their confession through a locked grille. The conferences to the community will also be given through a grille, covered with a dark curtain. The sisters will never talk among themselves about confession or the confessors, rather, let them pray fro them that God may give them the light to direct their souls.

Holy Communion. The sisters should never talk about who goes more and who goes less frequently to Holy Communion. They should refrain from passing judgment on this subject which does not concern them. All judgments in this matter belong exclusively to the confessor. The superior many speak to a sister, not to inquire whey she is not going to communion, but simply to make confession available to her. The superiors should never dare to enter into the domain of the sisters’ consciences. The superior many sometimes arrange that the community offer communion for a certain intention. Each sister should strive for the greatest purity of soul, so that she might receive the Divine Visitor every day.


On one occasion, when I entered the chapel, I saw the walls of a building in a stat of disrepair [a torn down building]. The windows were without panes, and the doors had only frames with no paneling. Then I heard these words in my soul: this is where the convent will be. I was a little disappointed that these ruins were to be the convent.

Thursday. I felt urged to undertake as soon as possible the task which the Lord was asking of me. While making my confession, I was holding to my own opinion over that of the confessor. At first, I did not realize this, but when I was making my Holy Hour I saw the Lord Jesus as He appears in the image, and He told me that I must repeat to my confessor and my superiors everything He says to me or asks of me… and do only what you receive permission to do. And he gave me to know how displeased He was with persons who are self-willed, and I recognized that I was one of these. I saw this shadow of self-will in myself, and I threw myself in the dust before His Majesty and, with a broken heart, begged His Pardon. But Jesus did not let me remain in this state for long. His divine gaze filled my heart with such joy that I have no words to express it. And Jesus gave me to know that I should ask Him more questions and seek His advice. Truly, how sweet is the look of my Lord; His eyes penetrate my soul to its most secret depths. My spirit communicates with God without any word being spoken. I am aware that He is living in me and I in Him.

All at once, I saw the image in some small chapel and at that moment I saw that the chapel became an enormous and beautiful temple. And in this temple I saw the Mother of God with the infant in Her arms. And a moment later, the infant Jesus disappeared from the arms of His Mother, and I saw the living image of Jesus Crucified. The Mother of God told me to do what She had done, that, even when joyful, I should always keep my eyes fixed on the cross, and She told me that the graces God was granting me were not for me alone, but for other souls as well.

When I see the infant Jesus during Holy Mass, it is not always the same; sometimes He is very joyous, and sometimes He is not even looking at the chapel. At present, He is often very joyful when our confessor [father Sopocko] offers Holy Mass, I was greatly surprised that the infant Jesus loves him so much. Sometimes I see him dressed in a colorful pinafore.

Before I came to Vilnius and met this confessor, I once saw a rather small church and near it, this congregation. The convent had twelve cells; each nun was to live separately. I saw the priest [father Sopocko] who was helping me to prepare the convent and whom I was to meet some years later, but whom I already knew from the vision. I saw how he was arranging everything in the convent with great care, assisted by another priest [probably father Wantuchowski] whom I have not yet met. I saw the iron grating, covered with a dark curtain, and the sisters did not go to the church. On the feast day of the Immaculate Conception of the Mother of God, during Holy Mass, I heard the rustling of garments and saw the most Holy Mother of God in a most beautiful radiance. Her white garment was girdled with a blue sash. She said to me: You give Me great joy when you adore the Holy Trinity for the graces and privileges which were accorded Me. And She immediately disappeared.

Penances and Mortification. Interior mortifications take the first place, but besides this, we must practice exterior mortifications, strictly determined, so that all can practice them. These are: on three days a week, Wednesday, Friday and Saturday, there will be a strict fast; each Friday, all the sisters – each one in her own cell – will take the discipline for the length of the recitation of Psalm 50 and all will do this at the same time; namely, three o’clock; and this will be offered for dying sinners. During the two great fasts, ember days and vigils, the food will consist of a piece of bread and some water, once a day.

Let each sister observe these mortifications which are prescribed for all. But if anyone desires to do something more, she should ask the superior for permission. One more general mortification: no sister is allowed to enter the cell of another without special permission from the superior, but the superior should sometimes unexpectedly enter the cells of the sisters, not in order to spy, but in the spirit of love and the responsibility which she has before God. None of the sisters will lock anything; the rule will be the general key for all.


One day, after Holy Communion, I suddenly saw the infant Jesus standing by my kneeler and holding on to it with His two little hands. Although He was but a little Child, my soul was filled with awe and fear, for I see in Him my Judge, my Lord, and my Creator, before whose holiness the angels tremor. At the same time, my soul was flooded with such unspeakable love that I thought I would die under its influence. I now see that Jesus first strengthens my soul and makes it capable of abiding with Him, for otherwise I would not be able to bear what I experience at such a moment.

Relationship of sisters with the superior. All the sisters should respect the superior, as the Lord Jesus himself, as I mentioned when speaking about the vow of obedience. They should behave toward her with childlike trust, and should never murmur or find fault with her commands, as this is very displeasing to God. Let each be guided by a spirit of faith in her relationship to superiors; let her ask with simplicity for all that she needs. God forbid that it ever happened or be repeated that any of the sisters would be a cause of sorrow or tears to the superior. Let each one know that as the fourth commandment obliges a child to honor its parents, in like manner is the religious bound to respect her superior. Only a bad religious would take the liberty of judging her superior. Let the sisters be sincere with the superior, telling her about everything and about their needs with childlike simplicity.

The sisters will address the superior thus: “with your leave, sister superior.” They shall never kiss her hand, but whenever they meet her in the corridor or enter her cell, they should say, “praised be Jesus Christ,” bowing their heads slightly.
They shall address each other as “sister” adding the proper name. Their relationship toward the superior should be marked by a spirit of faith and not by sentimentality or flattery, as these are unworthy of a religious and would degrade her very much. A religious should be as free as a queen, and will be such only when she lives in the spirit of faith. We should obey and respect the superior, not because she is good, holy or prudent, but solely because she represents God, and by obeying her we are obeying God Himself.

Relationship of the superior to the sisters. The superior should be distinguished by humility and love toward each sister without exception. She must not let herself be led by likes and dislikes, but by the spirit of Christ alone. Let her be aware that God will demand of her an account for each sister. She should not moralize to the sisters, but rather set them an example of profound humility and self-denial; this will be the most efficacious lesson she can give her subjects. She should be firm, but never harsh. She should be patient when bothered with the same questions. Even if she has to give the same answer a hundred times over, she should do so with equanimity. Let her strive to anticipate the sisters needs rather than wait till they ask for this or that, for people vary in disposition.

If the superior notices that a sister is sad or is suffering, she should try her very best to help and comfort her. She should pray much and ask for light in order to know how to deal with each sister, for each soul is a world of its own. God has various ways of communicating with souls, way that are often beyond our comprehension and notice. Therefore the superior should be careful not to hinder God’s action in a soul. She should never reprimand a sister when irritated; rather, reprimands should always be seasoned with encouragement. The person is to be helped to recognize and acknowledge her error, but she should not be crushed.

The superior should be outstanding for a love for her sisters which shows itself in actions. She should take upon herself all burdens so as to ease the burdens of the sisters. She should not demand any services from them, but should respect them as brides of Jesus and be always ready to serve them, day and night. Let her ask rather than order. Her heart should be open to the sufferings of the sisters, and she herself should look closely at, and learn from, the open book, namely, Jesus Crucified. Let her pray fervently for light, especially when she had some important dealing with a sister. She should be on her guard lest she interfere with the sister’ consciences, for only a priest has this grace. But it may happen that a sister may feel the necessity to pour out her soul to the superior, in which case the superior may listen to this outpouring, but she is bound to secrecy, as nothing hurts a person so much as she has said in confidence or in secret talking about with others. Woman usually have weak heads in this respect; it is rarely that one finds a woman with a man’s mind. The superior should strive for deep union with God, and God will govern through her. The most holy Mother will be the superioress of the convent, and we shall be Her faithful daughters.

December 15, 1935. From early morning, today, a strange power has been pushing me to action, not giving me a moment’s peace. A strange ardor has been lit in my heart, urging me to action, and I cannot stop it. This is a secret martyrdom known only to God, but let Him do with me as He pleases; my heart is ready for anything. O Jesus, my dearest Master, do not abandon me, not even for a moment. Jesus, You know well how weak I am of myself; that is way I know that it is my weakness that forces You to be with me constantly.

On one occasion, I saw Jesus in a bright garment; this was in the greenhouse. [He said to me,] Write what I say to you. My delight is to be united with you. With great desire, I wait and long for the time when I shall take up My residence sacramentally in your convent. My Spirit will rest in that convent and I will bless its neighborhood in a special way. Out of love for you all, I will avert any punishments which are rightly meted out by My Father’s justice. My daughter, I have inclined My Heart to your requests. Your assignment and duty here on earth is to beg for mercy for the whole world. No soul will be justified until it turns with confidence to My Mercy, and this is why the first Sunday after Easter is to be the Feast of Mercy. On that day, priests are to tell everyone about My great and unfathomable mercy. I am making you the administrator of My mercy. Tell the confessor that the Image is to be on view in the church and not within the enclosure in that convent. By means of this Image I shall be granting many graces to souls; so let every soul have access to it.
O my Jesus, Eternal Truth, I fear nothing, neither hardships not sufferings; I fear only one thing, and that is to offend You. My Jesus, I would rather not exist than make you sad. Jesus, You know that my love knows no one but You. My soul is absorbed in You.
Oh, how great should be the ardor of every soul who will live in that convent, since God desires to come and live with us! Let everyone remember that if we religious do not intercede before God, who will? Each of us should burn like a pure sacrifice before the majesty of God, but to be pleasing to God, each one soul unite herself closely to Jesus. It is only with Him, in Him and through Him that we can be pleasing to God.


December 21, 1935. One day my confessor [father Sopocko] told me to go and look at a certain house to see whether it was the same house I had seen in my vision. When I went with my confessor to see that house, or rather those ruins, at a glance I recognized that they were the same as I had seen in my vision. The moment I touched the boards which had been nailed together in place of the doors, a strength pervaded my soul like a flash, giving me unshakable certitude. I went away quickly from that place, my heart full of joy, for it seemed to me that there was a certain force chaining me to that place.

I am very happy with what I saw in the vision. When the confessor spoke to me about the arrangement of the cells and other things, I recognized everything to be the same as had been told to me by Jesus. I am delighted that God is acting in this way through my confessor, but I am not surprised that God is giving him so much light; since God, who is Light itself, lives in a pure and humble heart, and all sufferings and adversities serve but to reveal the soul’s holiness. When I returned home, I went immediately to our chapel to rest a while. Then suddenly I heard these words in my soul: Do not fear anything. I am with you. These matters are in My hands and I will bring them to fruition according to My mercy, for nothing can oppose My will.

Christmas Eve 1935.
From early morning, my spirit was immersed in God. His presence pervaded my whole being. In the evening, before supper, I went to the chapel for a minute to share the wafer, at the feet of Jesus, with those who are far away and whom Jesus loves greatly and to whom I owe so much. Just as I was spiritually sharing the wafer with a certain person [probably father Sopocko], I heard these words within me: His heart is for Me a heaven on earth. When I was leaving the chapel, in an instant, God’s omnipotence enveloped me. I understood how greatly God loves us. Oh, if people could at least partly comprehend and understand this!

Christmas day.
Midnight Mass. During Holy Mass, I again saw the little infant Jesus, extremely beautiful, joyfully stretching our His little arms to me. After Holy Communion, I heard the words: I am always in your heart; not only when you receive Me in Holy Communion, but always. I spent these holydays in great joy.

Oh Holy Trinity, Eternal God, my spirit is drowned in Your beauty. The ages are as nothing in Your sight. You are as nothing in Your sight. You are always the same. Oh, how great is Your majesty. Jesus, why do You conceal Your majesty, why have You left Your heavenly throne and dwelt among us? The Lord answered me, My daughter, love has brought Me here, and love keeps Me here. My daughter, if you knew what great merit and reward is earned by one act of pure love for Me, you would die of joy. I am saying this that you may constantly unite yourself with Me through love, for this is the goal of the life of your soul. This act is an act of the will. Know that a pure soul is humble. When you lower and empty yourself before My majesty, I then pursue you with My graces and make use of My omnipotence to exalt you.

Once, when my confessor told me to say “Glory be to the Father” as my penance, it took me a very long time; and I began many times, but did not finish, because my spirit became united with God, and I could not stick to the prayer. Quite frequently, I am unwittingly enveloped by God’s omnipotence and become entirely plunged in Him through love, and then I do not know what is going on around me. When I told my confessor that this short prayer often takes very much of my time and that sometimes I cannot even finish it, he told me to say it right away, there, at the confessional. However, my spirit became immersed in God and, in spite of my efforts, I could not think as I wished. And so the confessor said, “Please repeat after me.” I repeated every word, but while I was pronouncing each word, my spirit would be steeped in the Person I was naming.

On one occasion, Jesus told me, concerning a certain priest [probably Father Sopocko], that these present years would be the adornment of his priestly life. The days of suffering always seem longer, but they too will pass, though they pass so slowly that it seems they are moving backwards. However, their end is near, and then will come endless and inconceivable joy. Eternity! Who can understand this one word which comes from You, O incomprehensible God, this one word: eternity!
I know that the graces given me by God are often meant exclusively for certain souls. Awareness of this fills me with great joy; I always rejoice at the good of other souls as if it were my own.


On a certain occasion. The Lord said to me, I am more deeply wounded by the small imperfections of chosen souls than by the sins of those living in the world. It made me very sad that chosen souls make Jesus suffer, and Jesus told me, these little imperfections are not all. I will reveal to you a secret of My Heart: what I suffer from chosen souls. Ingratitude in return for so many graces is My Heart’s constant food, on the part of [such] a chosen soul. Their love is lukewarm, and My Heart cannot bear it; these souls force Me to reject them. Others distrust My goodness and have no desire to experience that sweet intimacy in their own hearts, but go in search of Me, off in the distance, and do not find Me. This distrust of My goodness hurts Me very much. If My death has not convinced you of My love, what will? Often a soul wounds Me mortally, and then no one can comfort Me. They use My graces to offend Me. There are souls who despise My graces as well as all the proofs of My love. They do not wish to hear My call, but proceed into the abyss of hell. The loss of these souls plunges Me into deadly sorrow. God though I am, I cannot help such a soul because it scorns Me; having a free will, it can spurn Me or love Me. You, who are the dispenser of My mercy, tell all the world about My goodness, and thus you will comfort My Heart. It will tell you when you converse with Me in the depths of your heart. Here, no one can disturb My actions. Here, I rest as in a garden enclosed.

The interior of my soul is like a large and magnificent world in which God and I live. Except for God, no one is allowed there. At the beginning of this life with God, I was dazzled and overcome with awe. His radiance blinded me, and I thought He was not in my heart; and yet those were the moments when God was working in my soul. Love was becoming purer and stronger, and the Lord brought my will into the closest union with His own holy will. No one will understand what I experience in that splendid place of my soul where I abide constantly with my Beloved. No exterior thing hinders my union with God. Even if I used the most forceful words, they would not express even a shadow of how my soul revels in happiness and inexplicable love, as great and pure as the spring from which it flows; that is, God Himself. My spirit is so pervaded with God that I feel it physically, and the body partakes of these joys. Although it happens that God’s touches vary in the same soul, they come, however, from the same source.

On one occasion, I saw Jesus thirsting and fainting, and He said to me, I thirst. When I gave Him water, He took it, but did not drink and immediately disappeared. He was clothed as He was during His Passion.
When you reflect upon what I tell you in the depths of your heart, you profit more than if you had read many books. Oh, if souls would only want to listen to My voice when I am speaking in the depths of their hearts, they would reach the peak of holiness in a short time.

January 8, 1936. When I went to see the Archbishop [Jalbrzykowski] I told him that Jesus was asking that I pray for God’s mercy upon the world and that there be a religious congregation which would entreat the mercy of God for the world. I asked his permission for all the Lord Jesus was demanding of me. The Archbishop answered me in these words: “as for prayer, I give you my permission and even encourage you, sister, to pray as much as possible for the world and to beg God’s mercy, as mercy is what we all need; and I presume that your confessor certainly does not forbid you to pray for this intention. But as regards this congregation, wait a while, sister, so that all things may arrange themselves more favorably. This thing is good in itself, but there is no need to hurry. If it is God’s will, it will be done, whether it be a little sooner or a little later. Why shouldn’t it be? There are so many different kinds of congregations; this one too will come to be if God so wills. Be completely at peace. The Lord Jesus can do all things. Strive for a close union with God and do not lose heart.” These words filled me with great joy.

When I left the Archbishop’s house, I heard the following words in my soul: to confirm your spirit, I speak through My representatives in accordance with what I demand of you, but know that this will not always be so. They will oppose you in many things, and through this My grace will be manifest in you, and it will be evident that this matter is My doing. But as for you, fear nothing; I am always with you. And know this, too, My daughter: all creatures, whether they know it or not, and whether they want to or not, always fulfill My will.

Once, I suddenly saw Jesus in great majesty, and He spoke these words to me: My daughter, if you wish, I will this instant create a new world, more beautiful than this one, and you will live there for the rest of your life. I don’t want any worlds, I want You, Jesus. I want to love You, with the same love that you have for me. I beg You for only one thing: to make my heart capable of loving you. I am very much surprised at Your offer, my Jesus, what are those worlds to me? Even if you gave me a thousand of them, what are they to me? You know very well, Jesus, that my heart is dying of longing for You. Everything that is not You is nothing to me.” At that moment, I could no longer see anything, but a strange fire sprang up in my heart, and I entered into a kind of agony for Him. Then I heard these words: with no other soul do I unite myself as closely and in such a way as I do with you, and this because of the deep humility and ardent love which you have for Me.

On one occasion, I heard these words within me: every movement of your heart is known to Me. Know, My daughter, that one glance of yours directed at someone else would wound Me more than many sins committed by another person.


Love cast out fear. Since I came to love God with my whole being and with all the strength of my heart, fear has left me. Even if I were to hear the most terrifying things about God’s justice, I would not fear Him at all, because I have come to know Him well. God is love, and His Spirit is peace. I see now that my deeds which have flowed from love are more perfect than those which I have done out of fear: I have placed my trust in God and fear nothing. I have given myself over to His Holy Will; let Him do with me as He wishes, and I will still love Him.

When I receive Holy Communion, I entreat and beg the Savior to heal my tongue, that I may never fail in love of neighbor.

Jesus, You know how ardently I desire to hide so that no one may know me but Your sweetest Heart. I want to be a tiny violet, hidden in the grass, unknown in a magnificent garden in which beautiful lilies and roses grow. The beautiful rose and the lovely lily can be seen from afar, but in order to see a little violet, one has to bend low; only its scent gives it away. Oh, how happy I am to be able to hide myself in this way! O my divine Bridegroom, the flower of my heart and the scent of my pure love are for You. My soul has drowned itself in You, Eternal God. From the moment when You yourself drew me to yourself, O my Jesus, the more I have known You, the more ardently I have desired You.

I learned in the Heart of Jesus that in heaven itself there is a heaven to which not all, but only chosen souls, have access. Incomprehensible is the happiness in which the soul will be immersed. O my God, oh, that I could describe this. Even in some little degree. Souls are penetrated by His divinity and pass from brightness to brightness, an unchangeable light, but never monotonous, always new though never changing. O Holy Trinity, make yourself known to souls!

O my Jesus, nothing is better for the soul than humiliations. In contempt is the secret of happiness, when the soul recognizes that, of itself, it is only wretchedness and nothingness, and that whatever it possesses of good is a gift of God. When the soul sees that everything is given it freely and that the only thing it has of itself is its own misery, this is what sustains it in a continual act of humble prostration before the majesty of God. And God, seeing the soul in such a disposition, pursues it with His graces. As the soul continues to immerse itself more deeply into the abyss of its nothingness and need, God uses His omnipotence to exalt it. If there is a truly happy soul upon earth, it can only be a truly humble soul. At first, one’s self-love suffers greatly on this account, but after a soul has struggled courageously, God grants it much light by which it sees how wretched and full of deception everything is. God alone is in its heart. A humble soul does not trust itself, but places all its confidence in God. God defends the humble soul and lets Himself into its secrets, and the soul abides in unsurpassable happiness which no one can comprehend.

One evening, one of the deceased sisters, who had already visited me a few times, appeared to me. The first time I had seen her, she had been in great suffering, and then gradually these sufferings had diminished; this time she was radiant with happiness, and she told me that she was already in heaven. She told me that God had tried our house with tribulation because Mother General [Michael] had given in to doubts, not believing what I had said about this soul. And further, as a sign that she only now was in heaven, God would bless our house. Then she came closer to me, embraced me sincerely and said, “I must go now.” I understood how closely the three stages of a soul’s life are bound together; that is to say, life on earth, in purgatory and in heaven [the communion of Saints].

I have noticed many times that God tries certain people on account of those things about which He spoke to me, for mistrust displeases Jesus. Once, when I saw that God had tried a certain Archbishop [Jalbrzykowski] because he was opposed to the cause and distrustful of it, I felt sorry for him and pleaded with God for him, and God relieved his suffering. God is very displeased with lack of trust in Him, and this is why some souls lose many graces. Distrust hurts His most sweet Heart, which is full of goodness and incomprehensible love for us. A priest should sometimes be distrustful in order to better ascertain the genuineness of gifts bestowed on a given soul; and when he does so in order to direct the soul to deeper union with God, his will be a great and incomprehensible reward indeed. But there is a great difference between this and disrespect and distrust of divine graces in a soul simply because on cannot comprehend and penetrate these things with one’s mind, and this latter is displeasing to the Lord. I greatly pity souls who encounter inexperienced priests.

Once, a certain priest [father Sopocko] asked me to pray for him. I promised to pray, and asked for a mortification. When I received permission for a certain mortification, I felt a great desire to give up all the graces that God’s goodness would intend for me that day in favor of that priest, and I asked the Lord Jesus to deign to bestow on me all the sufferings and afflictions, both exterior and spiritual, that the priest would have had to suffer during that day. God partially answered my request and, at once, all sorts of difficulties and adversities sprang up out of nowhere, so much so that one of the sisters remarked out loud that the Lord Jesus must have a hand in this because everyone was trying sister Faustina. The charges made were so groundless that what some sisters put forward, others denied, while I offered all this in silence on behalf of the priest.

But that was not all; I began to experience interior sufferings. First, I was seized by depression and aversion toward the sisters, then a kind of uncertainty began to trouble me. I could not recollect myself during prayer, and various things would take hold of my mind. When, tired out, I entered the chapel, a strange pain seized my soul, and I began to weep softly. Then I heard in my soul a voice, saying, My daughter, why are you weeping? After al, you yourself offered to undertake these sufferings. Know that what you have taken upon yourself for that soul is only a small portion. He is suffering much more. And I asked the Lord, “why are you treating him like that?” the lord answered me that it was for the triple crown meant for him: that of virginity, the priesthood and martyrdom. At that moment a great joy flooded my soul at the sight of the great glory that is going to be his in heaven. Right away I said the Te Deum for this special grace of God; namely, of learning how God treats those He intends to have close to himself. Thus, all sufferings are noting in comparison with what awaits us in heaven.


One day, after our Mass, I suddenly saw my confessor [father Sopocko] saying Mass in Saint Michael’s Church, in front of the picture of the Mother of God. It was at the time of the Offertory, and I saw the infant Jesus clinging to him as if fleeing from something and seeking refuge in him. But when the time came for Holy Communion, He disappeared as usual. Suddenly, I saw the Blessed Mother, who shielded him with Her cloak and said, Courage, My son, courage. She said something else which I could not hear.

Oh, how ardently I desire that every soul would praise Your mercy. Happy is the soul that calls upon the mercy of the Lord. It will see that the Lord will defend it as His glory, as He said. And who would dare fight against God? All you souls, praise the Lord’s mercy by trusting in His mercy all your life and especially at the hour of our death. And fear nothing, dear soul, whoever you are; the greater the sinner, the greater his right to Your mercy, o Lord. O incomprehensible goodness! God is the first to stoop to the sinner. O Jesus, I wish to glorify Your mercy on behalf of thousands of souls. I know very well, O my Jesus, that I am to keep telling souls about your goodness, about Your incomprehensible mercy.

On one occasion, after a person had asked me for prayer, when I met the Lord I said to Him, “Jesus, I especially love those souls whom You love.” And Jesus answered, and as for Me, I bestow special graces on those souls for whom you intercede.
How wondrously Jesus defends me; truly this is a great grace of God which I have experienced for a long time now.

Once, when one of our sisters became fatally ill and all the community was gathered together, there was also a priest there who gave the sister absolution. Suddenly, I saw many spirits of darkness. Then, forgetting that I was with the sisters, I seized the holy water sprinkler and sprinkled the spirits, and they disappeared at once. However, when the sisters came to the refectory, Mother superior [Borgia] remarked that I should not have sprinkled the sick sister in the presence of the priest, as this was hi duty. I accepted the admonition in the spirit of penance, but holy water is indeed a great help to the dying.
My Jesus, you see how weak I am of myself. Therefore, You yourself direct my affairs. And know, Jesus, that without you I will not budge for any cause, but with You I will take on the most difficult things.

January 29, 1936. In the evening, when I was in my cell, I suddenly saw a great light and a dark gray cross high up within the light. Suddenly, I found myself caught up close to the cross. I gazed at it intently, but could not understand anything, and so I prayed, asking what it could man. At that moment I saw the Lord Jesus, and the cross disappeared. The Lord Jesus was sitting in a great light, and His legs, up to the knees, where drowned in the light so that I could not see them. Jesus bent toward me, looked at me kindly and spoke to me about the will of the Heavenly Father. He told me that the most perfect and holy soul is the one that does the will of the Father, but there are not many such, and that He looks with special love upon the soul who lives His will. And Jesus told me that I was doing the will of God perfectly… and for this reason I am uniting myself with you and coming with you in a special and intimate way. God embraces with His incomprehensible love the soul who lives by His will. I understood how much God loves us, how simple He is, though incomprehensible, and how easy it is to commune with Him, despite His great majesty. With no one do I feel as free and as much at ease as with Him. Even a mother and her truly loving child do not understand each other so well as God and I do. When I was in that state of communion with God, I saw two particular persons, and their sad interior condition was revealed to me. They were in a sorrowful state, but I trust that they too, will glorify the mercy of God.

At the same time, I saw a certain person [father Sopocko] and, in part, the condition of his soul and the ordeals God was sending him. His sufferings were of the mind and in a form so acute that I pitied him and said to the Lord, “why do you treat him like that?” and the Lord answered, for the sake of his triple crown. and the Lord also gave me to understand what unimaginable glory awaits the person who resembles the suffering Jesus here on earth. That person will resemble Jesus in His glory. The Heavenly Father will recognize and glorify our soul to the extent that He sees in us a resemblance to His Son. I understood that this assimilation into Jesus is granted to us while we are here on earth. I see pure and innocent souls upon whom God has exercised His justice; these souls are the victims who sustain the world and who fill up what is lacking in the Passion of Jesus. They are not many in number. I rejoice greatly that God has allowed me to know such souls.

O Holy Trinity, Eternal God, I thank You for allowing me to know the greatness and the various degrees of glory to which souls attain. Oh, what a great difference of depth in the knowledge of God there is between one degree and another! Oh, if people could only know this! O my God, if I were thereby able to attain one more degree, I would gladly suffer all the torments of the martyrs put together. Truly, all those torments seem as nothing to me compared with the glory that is awaiting us for all eternity. O Lord, immerse my soul in the ocean of Your divinity and grant me the grace of knowing you; for the better I know you, the more I desire You, and the more my love for you grows. If feel in my soul an unfathomable abyss which only God can fill. I lose myself in Him as a drop does in the ocean. The Lord has inclined himself to my misery like a ray of the sun upon a barren and rocky desert. And yet, under the influence of His rays, my soul has become a beautiful garden for His repose.

My Jesus, despite Your graces, I see and feel all my misery. I begin my day with battle and end it with battle. As soon as I conquer one obstacle, ten more appear to take its place. But I am not worried, because I now that this is the time of struggle, not peace. When the burden of the battle becomes too much for me, I throw myself like a child into the arms of the heavenly Father and trust I will not perish. O my Jesus, how prone I am to evil, and this forces me to be constantly vigilant. But I do not lose heart. I trust God’s grace, which abounds in the worst misery.
In the midst of the worst difficulties and adversities, I do not lose inner peace or exterior balance, and this discourages my adversaries. Patience in adversity gives power to the soul.


February 2, 1936. in the morning when the bell awoke me, I was so overcome by drowsiness which I could not shake off that I jumped into cold water, and after two minutes the sleepiness left me. When I came to meditation a host of absurd thoughts swarmed into my head, so much so that I had to struggle throughout the whole meditation. It was the same during prayer time, but when Mass began, a strange silence and joy filled my heart. Just then, I saw Our Lady with the infant Jesus, and the Holy Old Man [St. Joseph] standing behind them. The most Holy Mother said to me, Take My dearest Treasure, and She handed me the infant Jesus. When I tool the infant Jesus in my arms, the Mother Of God and Saint Joseph disappeared. I was left alone with the infant Jesus. I said to Him, “I know that You are my Lord and Creator even though You are so tiny.” Jesus stretched His little arms out to me and looked at me with a smile. My spirit was filled with incomparable joy. Then suddenly Jesus disappeared, and it was time for Holy Communion. I went with the other sisters to the Holy Table, my soul deeply moved. After Holy Communion, I heard these words in my soul: I am in your heart, I whom you had in your arms. I then pleaded with Jesus for a certain soul [father Sopocko], asking the Lord to grant him the grace to fight, and to take this trial from him. As you ask, so shall it be, but his merit will not be lessened. Joy reigned in my soul that God is so good and merciful; God grants everything that we ask of Him with trust.

After each conversation with the Lord, my soul is extraordinarily strengthened, and a profound tranquility prevails therein and gives me such courage that I do not fear anything in the world, but fear only lest I make Jesus sad.

O my Jesus, I implore You by the goodness of Your most sweet Heart, let your anger diminish and show us Your mercy. May your wounds be our shield against Your Father’s justice. I have come to know you, O God as the source of great mercy that vivifies and nourishes every soul. Oh, how great is the mercy of the Lord; it surpasses all His other qualities! Mercy is the greatest attribute of God; everything that surrounds me speaks to me of this. Mercy is the life of souls; His compassion is inexhaustible. O Lord, look on us and deal with us according to Your countless mercies, according to Your great mercy.

One time, I was in doubt as to whether what had happened to me had seriously offended the Lord Jesus or not. As I could not solve this doubt, I made up my mind not to go to Communion before first going to confession, although I immediately made an act of contrition, as it is my habit to ask for forgiveness after the slightest transgression. During those days when I did not receive Holy Communion, I did not feel the presence of God. This caused me unspeakable pain, but I took it as a punishment for sin. However, at the time of Holy Confession I was reproached for not going to Holy Communion, because what had happened to me was not an obstacle to receiving Holy Communion, and I saw the Lord Jesus who said to me, know, My daughter, that you caused me more sorrow by not uniting yourself with Me in Holy Communion than you did by that small transgression.

One day, I saw a small chapel in which six sisters were receiving Holy Communion from our confessor [father Sopocko] who was wearing a surplice and stole. There were no decorations and no kneelers in the chapel. After Holy Communion, I saw the Lord Jesus as He is represented in the image. Jesus was walking away, and I called to Him, “how can you pass me by and not say anything to me, Lord?” without You, I shall do nothing; you must stay with me and bless me, and this community and my country as well.” Jesus made the sign of the cross and said, do not fear anything; I am always with you.

On the last two days before Lent we had an hour of propitiatory adoration with the girls. During both hours I saw the Lord Jesus as He was after the scourging. My soul felt such great pain that it seemed to me that I was experiencing all those torments in my own body and in my own soul.

March 1, 1936. Today during Holy Mass I experienced a strange force and urge to start realizing God’s wishes. I had such a clear understanding of the things the Lord was asking of me that truly if I were to say that I do not understand what God is demanding from me, I would be lying, because the Lord is making His will known to me so clearly and distinctly that I do not have the least shadow of a doubt about them. I realized that it would be the greatest ingratitude to delay any longer this undertaking which the Lord wishes to bring to fulfillment for His glory and the benefit of a great number of souls. And He is using me as a miserable tool through which to realize His eternal plans of mercy. Truly, how ungrateful my soul would be to resist God’s will any longer. Nothing will stop me any longer, be it persecution, sufferings, sneers, threats, entreaties, hunger, cold, flattery, friendships, adversities, friends or enemies; be it things I am experiencing now or things that will come in the future or even the hatred of hell – nothing will deter me from doing the will of God.

I am not counting on my own strength, but on His omnipotence for, as he gave me the grace of knowing His holy will, He will also grant me the grace of fulfilling it. I cannot fail to mention how much my own lower nature resists this thing, manifesting its own desires, and there results within my soul a great struggle, like that of Jesus in the Garden of Olives. And so I too cry out to God, the Eternal Father, “if it is possible, take this cup from me, but, nevertheless, not my will, but Yours be done, O Lord; may Your will be done.” What I am about to go through is no secret to me, but with full knowledge I accept whatever You send me, O Lord. I trust in You, O merciful God, and I wish to be the first to manifest to You that confidence which You demand of souls. O Eternal Truth, help me and enlighten me along the roadways of life, and grant that Your will be accomplished in me.

My God, I desire nothing but the fulfillment of Your will. It does not matter whether it will be easy or difficult. If feel an extraordinary force driving me to action. One thing alone holds me back, and that is holy obedience. O my Jesus, you urge me on the one hand and hold me back and restrain me on the other. In this, too, O my Jesus, may your holy will be done.

I continued in this state, without a break, for many days. My physical strength declined, and though I did not speak to anyone about it, nevertheless Mother superior [Borgia] noticed my pain and remarked that I had changed in appearance and was very pale. She told me to go to bed earlier and to sleep longer, and she had a cup of hot milk brought to me in the evening. She had a motherly heart, full of care, and tried to help me. But in the case of spiritual sufferings external things have no influence, and they do not bring much relief. It was from the confessional that I drew my strength and the consolation of knowing that it would not be long before I could begin to act.


On Thursday, when I went to my cell, I saw over me the Sacred Host in great brightness. Then I heard a voice that seemed to be coming from above the Host: in the Host is your power; it will defend you. After these words, the vision disappeared, but a strange power entered my soul, and a strange light as to what our love for God consists in; namely, in doing His will.
O Holy Trinity, Eternal God, I want to shine in the crown of Your mercy as a tiny gem whose beauty depends on the ray of Your light and or Your inscrutable mercy. All that is beautiful in my soul is Yours, O God; of myself I am ever nothing.

At the beginning of Lent, I asked my confessor for some mortification for this time of fast. I was told to cut down on my food but, while eating, to meditate on how the Lord Jesus, on the Cross, accepted vinegar and gall. This would be my mortification. I did not know that this would be so beneficial to my soul. The benefit is that I am meditating constantly on His sorrowful Passion and so, while I am eating, I am not preoccupied with what I am eating, but am reflecting on my Lord’s death.

At the beginning of Lent, I also asked to have the subject of my particular exam changed, and I was told to do everything with the pure intention of reparation for poor sinners. This keeps me in continual union with God, and this intention perfects my actions, because everything I do is done for immortal souls. All hardships and fatigue are as nothing when I think that they reconcile sinful souls with God. Mary is my instructress, who is ever teaching me how to live for God. My spirit brightens up in your gentleness and Your humility, O Mary.

On one occasion, when I dropped by the chapel for a five-minute adoration and was praying for a certain soul, I came to understand that God does not always accept our petitions for the souls we have in mind, but directs these to other souls. Hence, although we do not relieve the shouls we intended to relieve in their purgatorial suffering, still our prayer is not lost.

Intimate communion of a soul with God. God approaches a soul in a special way known only to himself and to the soul. No one perceives this mysterious union. Love presides in this union, and everything is achieved by love alone. Jesus gives himself to the soul in a gentle and sweet manner, and in His depths there is peace. He grants the soul many graces and makes it capable of sharing His eternal thoughts. And frequently, He reveals to it His divine plans.

Father Andrasz told me that it would be a good thing to have in God’s church a group of souls who would beg for His mercy, because in fact we are all in need of that mercy. After these words, an extraordinary light filled my soul. Oh, how good is the Lord!

March 18, 1936. once, I asked the Lord Jesus to take the first step by bringing about some change or some external event, or by letting them expel me, as I found it impossible to leave the Congregation on my own initiative. And I was in an agony over this for more than three hours. I could not pray, but kept submitting my will to the will of God.

The next morning, Mother superior [Borgia] told met that Mother General [Michael] was transferring me to Warsaw. I answered Mother that perhaps I should not go but leave the [congregation] directly from here. I regarded this to be the external sign for which I had been asking God. Mother superior made no reply, but after some time she called me again and said, “You know what, sister, go anyway and don’t worry about wasting a trip, even if you should return immediately.” I answered, “all right, I will go,” although my heart was seized with pain because I knew that by this trip this matter would be delayed. However, I try always to be obedient, despite everything.

In the evening, when I was praying, the Mother of God told me, Your lives must be like Mine: quiet and hidden, in unceasing union with God, pleading for humanity and preparing the world for the second coming of God.
In the evening, during Benediction, my soul was for some time in communion with God the Father. I felt I was in His hand like a little child, and I heard these words in my soul; do not fear anything, My daughter; all the adversaries will be shattered at My feet. At these words, a deep peace and a great interior calm entered my soul.

When I complained to the Lord that He was taking my help away and that I would be alone again and would not know what to do, I heard these words: do not be afraid; I am always with you. After these words, a deep peace once again entered my soul. His presence penetrated me completely in a way that could be sensed. My spirit was flooded with light, and my body participated in this as well.

On the evening of the last day before my departure from Vilnius, an elderly sister revealed the condition of her soul to me. She said that she had already been suffering interiorly fo