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Divine
Mercy Diary - Notebook 2 (Page 2 of 2)
Preface
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Notebook 3
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6
Divine Mercy
In my soul
The Diary
of the Servant of God
Sister M. Faustina Kowalska
NOTEBOOK
II
Page 2
November 18,
1936. Today, I tried to make all my exercises before Benediction,
because I was feeling more ill than usual. So I went to bed
directly after Benediction. But when I entered the bedroom, u
suddenly knew interiorly that I should go to the cell of S.N.
because she was in need of help. I entered her cell at once, and
S.N. said to me. “Oh, how good it is that God has brought you
here, sister!” and her voice was so faint that I could hardly
hear her. She said to me, “sister, please bring me some tea with
lemon, because I am terribly thirsty and I cannot move because I
am in such pain.” And truly, she was suffering very much and had
a high fever. I made her more comfortable, and she was able to
quench her thirst with the little bit of teas that I brought her.
When I entered my own cell, my soul was engulfed by the great love
of God, and I understood that we should take great heed of our
interior inspirations and follow them faithfully, and that
faithfulness to one grace draws down others.
November 19, 1936. During Mass today, I saw the Lord Jesus, who
said to me, Be at peace, My daughter; I
see your efforts, which are very pleasing to Me. And
the Lord disappeared, and it was time for Holy Communion. After I
received Holy Communion, I suddenly saw the Cenacle and in it
Jesus and the Apostles. I saw the institution of the Most Blessed
Sacrament. Jesus allowed me to penetrate His interior, and I came
to know the greatness of His majesty and, at the same time, His
great humbling of Himself. The extraordinary light that allowed me
to see His majesty revealed to me, at the same time, what was in
my own soul.
Jesus gave me to know the depth of His meekness and humility and
to understand that He clearly demanded the same of me. I felt the
gaze of God in my soul. This filled me with unspeakable love, but
I understood that the Lord was looking with love on my virtues and
my heroic efforts, and I knew that this was what was drawing God
into my heart. It is from this that I have come to understand that
it is not enough for me to strive only for the ordinary virtues.
Although exteriorly a thing may be quite ordinary, it is the
different manner in which it is carried out, that only the eye of
God catches. O my Jesus, what I have written is just a pale shadow
of what I understand in my soul; these are purely spiritual
things, but in order to write something of what the Lord give me
to know, I must use words with which I am totally dissatisfied,
because they do not express the reality.
When I experienced these sufferings for the first time, it was
like this: after the annual vows, on a certain day, during prayer,
I saw a great brilliance and, issuing from the brilliance, rays
which completely enveloped me. Then suddenly, I felt a terrible
pain in my hands, my feet and my side and the thorns of the crown
of thorns. I experienced these sufferings during Holy Mass on
Friday, but this was only for a brief moment. This was repeated
for several Fridays, and later on I did not experience any
sufferings up to the present time; that is, up to the end of
September of this year. In the course of the present illness,
during Holy Mass one Friday, I felt myself pierced by the same
sufferings, and this has been repeated on every Friday and
sometimes when I meet a soul that is not in the state of grace.
Although this is infrequent, and the suffering lasts a very short
time, still it is terrible, and I would not be able to bear it
without a special grace from God. There is no outward indication
of these sufferings. What will come later, I do not know. All
this, for the sake of souls…
November 21, 1936. Jesus, You see that I am neither gravely ill
nor in good health. You fill my soul with enthusiasm for action,
and I have no strength. The fire of Your love burns in me, and for
what I cannot accomplish by physical strength, love will
compensate.
Jesus, my spirit yearns for You, and I desire very much to be
united with You, but Your works hold me back. The number of souls
that I am to bring to You is not yet complete. I desire toil and
suffering; let everything You have planned before the ages be
fulfilled in me, O my Creator and Lord! It is only Your word that
I understand; it alone gives me strength. You Spirit, O Lord, is
the Spirit of Peace; and nothing troubles my depths because You
dwell there, O Lord.
I know that I am under your special gaze, O Lord, I do not examine
with fear Your plans regarding me; my task is to accept everything
from Your hand. I do not fear anything, although the storm is
raging, and frightful bolts strike all around me, and I then feel
quite alone. Yet, my heart senses You, and my trust grows, and I
see all Your omnipotence which upholds me. With you, Jesus, I go
through life, amid storms and rainbows, with a cry of joy, singing
the song of Your mercy. I will not stop singing my song of love
until the choir of angels picks it up. There is no power that can
stop me in my flight toward God. I see that even the superiors do
not always understand the road along which God is leading me, and
I am not surprised at this.
Once, I saw Father Sopocko praying as he was reflecting on these
matters. Then I saw how a ring of light appeared suddenly above
his head. Although distance separates us, I often see him,
especially as he works at his desk despite his fatigue.

November 22, 1936. Today during confession, the Lord Jesus spoke
to me through the lips of a certain priest. This priest did not
know my soul, and I only accused myself of my sins; yet he spoke
these words to me: “Accomplish faithfully everything that Jesus
asks of you, despite the difficulties. Know that, although people
may be angry with you, Jesus is not angry and never will be angry
with you. Pay no attention to human opinion.” This instruction
surprised me at first; but I understood that the Lord was speaking
through him without his realizing it. O holy mystery, what great
treasures are contained in you! O holy faith, you are my
guidepost!
November 24. Today I received a letter from Father Sopocko. I
learned from it that God himself is conducting this whole affair.
And as the Lord has begun it, so will He continue to carry it
along. And the greater the difficulties which I see, the more am I
at peace. Oh, if in this whole matter the glory of God and the
profit to souls were not greatly served, satan would not be
opposing it so much. But he senses what he is going to lose
because of it. I have now learned that satan hates mercy more than
anything else. It is his greatest torment. Still, the word of God
will not pass away; God’s utterance is living; difficulties will
not suppress the works of God, but show that they are God’s…
On one occasion, I saw the convent of the new congregation. As I
walked about, inspecting everything, I suddenly saw a crowd of
children who seemed to be no older than five to eleven years of
age. When they saw me they surrounded me and began to cry out,
“defend us from evil,” and they led me into the chapel which
was in this convent. When I entered the chapel, I saw the
distressful Lord Jesus, Jesus looked at me graciously and said
that He was gravely offended by children: You
are to defend them from evil. From
that moment, I have been praying for children, but I feel that
prayer alone is not enough.
O my Jesus, you know what efforts are needed to live sincerely and
unaffectedly with those from whom our nature flees, or with those
who, deliberately or not, have made us suffer. Humanly speaking,
this is impossible. At such times more than at others, I try to
discover the Lord Jesus in such a person and for this same Jesus,
I do everything for such people. In such acts, love is pure, and
such practice of love gives the soul endurance and strength. I do
not expect anything from creatures, and therefore I am not
disappointed. I know that a creature is poor of itself, so what
can one expect from it? God is everything for me; I want to
evaluate everything according to God’s ways.
My communion with the Lord is now purely spiritual. My soul is
touched by God and wholly absorbs itself in Him, even to the
complete forgetfulness of self. Permeated by God to its very
depths, it drowns in His beauty; it completely dissolves in Him
– I am at loss to describe this, because in writing I am making
use of the senses; but there, in that union, the senses are not
active; there is a merging of God and the soul; and the life of
God to which the soul is admitted is so great that the human
tongue cannot express it.
When the soul returns to its habitual form of life, it then sees
that this life is all darkness and mist and dreamlike confusion,
and infant’s swaddling clothes. In such moments the soul only
receives from God, for of itself it does nothing; it does not make
even the slightest effort; all in her is wrought by God. But when
the soul returns to its ordinary state, it sees that it is not
within its power to continue in this union.
These moments are short, but their effects are lasting. The soul
cannot remain long in this state; or else it would be forcibly
freed of the bonds of the body forever. Even as it is, it is
sustained by a miracle of God. God allows the soul to know in a
clear way how much He loves it, as though it were the only object
of His delight. The soul recognizes this clearly and without a
veil, so to speak. It reaches out for God with all its might, but
it feels like a baby; it knows that this is not within its power.
Therefore, God descends to the soul and unites it to himself in a
way that… here, I must be silent, for I cannot describe what the
soul experiences.
It is a strange thing that although the soul which experiences
this union with God cannot find words and expressions to describe
it, nevertheless, when it meets a similar soul, the two understand
each other extraordinarily well in regard to these matters, even
though they speak but little with each other. A soul united with
God in this way easily recognizes a similar soul, even if the
latter has not revealed its interior life to it, but merely speaks
in an ordinary way. It is a kind of spiritual kinship. Souls
united with God in this way are few, fewer than we think.
I have noticed that the Lord grants this grace to souls for two
purposes. The first is when the soul is to do some great work
which is, humanly speaking, absolutely beyond its power. In the
second case, I have noticed that the Lord grants it in order that
kindred souls might be guided and set at peace, although the Lord
can grant this grace as He pleases and to whomever He pleases.
However, I have noticed this grace in three priests, one of whom
is a secular priest [probably Father Sopocko] and the other two,
religious priests [probably Father Elter and Father Andrasz], and
also in two religious sisters [probably Mother Michael and Sister
Mary Joseph], but not in the same degree.
As for myself, I received this grace for the first time, and that
for only a brief moment, in the eighteenth year of my life, within
the octave of Corpus Christi [June 18-25, 1925], during vespers,
when I made to the Lord Jesus the vow of perpetual chastity. I was
still living in the world, but I entered the convent soon
afterwards. The grace lasted for a very brief moment, but its
power was great. After this grace, there was a long interval. It
is true that I received many graces from the Lord during this
interval, but they were of a different order. It was a time of
trails and purification. The trials were so painful that my soul
felt as though it was being totally abandoned by God and it was
steeped in profound darkness. I became aware and understood that
no one would be able to bring me out of those torments or even
understand me.

There were two occasions when my soul was plunged into despair,
once for half an hour, and the second time for three quarters of
an hour. Just as I cannot describe the greatness of the graces, so
too with those ordeals sent by the Lord; whatever words I might
use, they are only a pale shadow of the reality. However, just as
the Lord lunged me into these torments, so too He brought me out
of them. Only this lasted for a few years, after which I again
received this extraordinary grace of union which has continued to
this day. Still, during this second period of union, there also
have been short interruptions. But for some time now, I have not
experienced any interruption at all; on the contrary, I am more
and more deeply steeped in God. The great light which illumines
the mind gives me a knowledge of the greatness of God; but it is
not as if I were getting to know the individual attributes, as
before – no, it is different now: in one moment, I come to know
the entire essence of God.
In that same moment, the soul drowns entirely in Him and
experiences a happiness as great as that of the chosen ones in
heaven. Although the chosen ones in heaven see God face to face
and are completely and absolutely happy, still their knowledge of
God is not the same. God has given me to understand this. This
deeper knowledge begins here on earth, depending on the grace
given, but to a great extend, it also depends on our faithfulness
to that grace.
However, the soul receiving this unprecedented grace of union with
God cannot say that it sees God face to face, because even here
there is a very thin veil of faith, but so very thin that the soul
can say that it sees God and talks with Him. It is
“divinized.” God allows the soul to know how much He loves it,
and the soul sees that better and holier souls than itself have
not received this grace. Therefore, it is filled with holy
amazement, which maintains it in deep humility, and it steeps
itself in its own nothingness and holy astonishment; and the more
it humbles itself, the more closely God unites himself with it and
descend to it.
Great is the mutual exchange between the soul and God. When the
soul leaves its concealment, the senses get a taste of what the
soul has delighted in. although this also is a great grace from
God, it is not a purely spiritual one, for in the first moments
the senses do not take part. Every grace gives the soul power and
strength to act, and courage to suffer. The soul knows very well
what God is asking of it, and it carries out His holy will despite
adversities.
Yet, the soul cannot proceed on its own in these matters. It must
follow the advice of an enlightened confessor, for otherwise it
could go astray or gain no profit.
O my Jesus, I understand well that, just as illness is measured
with a thermometer, and a high fever tells us of the seriousness
of the illness, so also, in the spiritual life, suffering is the
thermometer which measures the love of God in a soul.
My goal is God… and my happiness is in accomplishing His will,
and nothing in the world can disturb this happiness for me: no
power, no force of any kind.
The Lord visited my cell today and said to me, My
daughter, I will not leave you in this community for much longer.
I am telling you this so that you will be more diligent in taking
advantage of the graces which I grant you.
November 27, 1936. Today I was in
heaven, in spirit, and I saw its unconceivable beauties and the
happiness that awaits us after death. I saw how all creatures give
ceaseless praise and glory to God. I saw how great is happiness in
God, which spreads to all creatures, making them happy; and then
all the glory and praise which springs from this happiness returns
to its source; and they enter into the depths of God,
contemplating the inner life of God, the Father, the Son, and the
Holy Spirit, whom they will never comprehend or fathom.
This source of happiness is unchanging in its essence, but it is
always new, gushing forth happiness for all creatures. Now I
understand Saint Paul, who said, “Eye has not seen, nor has ear
heard, not has it entered into the heart of man what God has
prepared for those who love him.”
And God has given me to understand that there is but one thing
that is of infinite value in His eyes, and that is love of God;
love, love and once again, love; and nothing can compare with a
single act of pure love of God. Oh, with what inconceivable favors
God gifts a soul that loves Him sincerely! Oh, how happy is the
soul who already here on earth enjoys His special favors! And of
such are the little and humble souls.
The sight of this great majesty of God, which I came to understand
more profoundly and which is worshipped by the heavenly spirits
according to their degree of grace and the hierarchies into which
they are divided, did not cause my soul to be stricken with terror
or fear; no, no, not at all! My soul was filled with peace and
love, and the more I come to know the greatness of God, the more
joyful I become that He is as He is. And I rejoice immensely in
His greatness and am delighted that I am so little because, since
I am little, He carries me in His arms and holds me close to His
Heart.
O my God, how I pity those people who do not believe in eternal
life; how I pray for them that a ray of mercy would envelop them
too, and that God would clasp them to His fatherly bosom.
O love, O queen! Love knows no fear. It passes through all the
choirs of angels that stand on guard before His throne. It will
fear no one. It reaches God and is immersed in Him as in its sole
treasure. The Cherubim who guards paradise with flaming sword, has
no power over it. O pure love of God, how great and unequalled you
are! Oh, if souls only knew your power!

I am very weak today. I cannot even make my meditation in the
chapel, but must lie down. O my Jesus, I love you, and I want to
worship You with my very weakness, submitting myself entirely to
Your holy will.
I must be on my guard, especially today, because I am becoming
over sensitive to everything. Things I would not pay any attention
to when I am healthy bother me today. O my Jesus, my shield and my
strength, grant me Your grace that I am emerge victorious from
these combats. O my Jesus, transform me into yourself by the power
of Your love, that I may be a worthy tool in proclaiming your
mercy.
I thank God for this illness and these physical discomforts,
because I have time to converse with the Lord Jesus. it is my
delight to spend long hours at the feet of the hidden God, and the
hours pass like minutes as I lose track of time. I feel that fire
is burning within me, and I understand no other life but that of
sacrifice, which flows from pure love.
November 29, 1936. The Mother of God has taught me how to prepare
for the Feast of Christmas. I saw her today, without the infant
Jesus. She said to me: My daughter,
strive after silence and humility, so that Jesus, who dwells in
your heart continuously, may be able to rest. Adore Him in your
heart; do not go out from your inmost being. My daughter, I shall
obtain for you the grace of an interior life which will be such
that, without ever leaving that interior life, you will be able to
carry out all your external duties with even greater care. Dwell
with Him continuously in your own heart. He will be your strength.
Communicate with creatures only in so far as is necessary and is
required by your duties. You are a dwelling place pleasing to the
living God; in you He dwells continuously with love and delight.
And the living presence of God, which you experience in a more
vivid and distinct way, will confirm you, my daughter, in the
things I have told you. Try to act in this way until Christmas
Day, and then He himself will make known to you in what way you
will be communing and uniting yourself with Him.
November 30, 1936. During vespers
today, an unusual pain pierced my soul. I see that, in every
respect, this work is beyond my strength. I am a little child
before the immensity of the tasks, and it is only at the Lord’s
clear command that I am setting about to carry it out. On the
other hand, even these great graces are a burden for me, and I am
barely able to carry them. I see my superiors disbelief and doubts
of all kinds and, for this reason, their apprehensive behavior
towards me. My Jesus, I see that even such great graces can be a
source of suffering. And yet, it is so; not only may they be a
cause of suffering, but they must be such, as a sign of God’s
action. I understand well that if God himself did not strengthen
the soul in these various ordeals, the soul would not be able to
master the situation. Thus God himself is its shield.
As I continued Vespers, meditating on this mixture of suffering
and grace, I heard the voice of Our Lady: Know
my daughter, that although I was raised to the dignity of Mother
of God, seven swords of pain pierced My Heart, don’t do anything
to defend yourself; bear everything with humility; God himself
will defend you.
December 1, 1936. One day retreat.
Today, during the morning meditation, the Lord gave me to see and
understand clearly that His demands are unchangeable. I see
clearly that no one can release me from the duty of doing the will
of God. A great lack of health and physical strength is not a
sufficient reason and does not release me from this work that the
Lord himself is carrying out through me. I am to be just a tool in
His hands. And so, O Lord, here I am to carry out Your will.
Command me according to Your eternal plans and desires. Only give
me the grace that I may always be faithful to You.
As I was conversing with the hidden God, He gave me to see and
understand that I should not be reflecting so much and building up
fear of the difficulties which I might encounter. Know
that I am with you; I bring about the difficulties, and I overcome
them; in one instant, I can change a hostile disposition to one
which is favorable to this cause. The
Lord explained many things to me in today’s dialogue, although I
am not putting everything in writing.
Always and in all circumstances, yield the first place to others;
especially during recreation listen quietly, without interrupting,
even if someone tell me the same thing ten times. I will never ask
questions about something that interests me very much.

Resolution: still the same, namely, to unite myself with the
Merciful Christ.
General Resolution: interior calm, silence.
Hide me, Jesus, in the depths of Your mercy, and then let my
neighbor judge me as he pleases.
I must never speak of my own experiences. In suffering, I must
seek relief in prayer. In doubts, even the smallest, I must seek
only the advice of my confessor. I must always have a heart which
is open to receive the sufferings of others, and drown my own
sufferings in the Divine Heart, so that they would not be noticed
on the outside, in so far possible. I must always strive for
equanimity, no matter how stormy the circumstances might be. I
must not allow anything to disturb my interior calm and silence.
Nothing can compare with peace of soul. When I am wrongfully
accused of something, I will not explain myself; if the superior
wants to know the truth, whether I was in the right or not, let
her find out from others rather than from me. My concern is to
accept everything with a humble inner disposition.
I will spend this Advent in accordance with the directions of the
Mother of God: in meekness and humility.
I am reliving these moments with Our Lady. With great longing, I
am waiting fort the Lord’s coming. Great are my desires. I
desire that all humankind come to know the Lord. I would like to
prepare all nations for the coming of the Word Incarnate. O Jesus,
make the fount of Your Mercy gush forth more abundantly, for
humankind is seriously ill and thus has more need than ever of
Your compassion. You re a bottomless sea of mercy for us sinners;
and the greater the misery, the more right we have to Your Mercy.
You are a fount which makes all creatures happy by Your infinite
mercy.
Today December 9, 1936, I am leaving for Pradnik, just outside
Cracow, to undergo treatment. I am to stay there for three months.
I am being sent there through the great solicitude of my
superiors, especially that of our dear Mother General [Michael]
who is so solicitous for the sisters who are ill.
I have accepted the favor of this treatment, but I am fully
resigned to the will of God. Let God do with me as He pleases. I
desire nothing but he fulfillment of His holy will. I am uniting
myself with the Mother of God, and I am leaving Nazareth and going
to Bethlehem. I will spend Christmas there among strangers, but
with Jesus, Mary and Joseph, because such is the will of God. I am
striving to do the will of God in all things. I do not desire a
return to health more than death. I entrust myself completely to
His infinite mercy and, as a little child, I am living in he
greatest peace. I am trying only to make my love for Him deeper
and purer, to be a delight to His divine glance…
The Lord told me to say this chaplet for nine days before the
Feast of Mercy. It is to begin on Good Friday. By
this novena, I will grant every possible grace to souls.
When I was somewhat overcome by the
fear that I was to be outside the community for so long a time
alone, Jesus said to me, you will not
be alone, because I am with you always and everywhere. Near to My
Heart, fear nothing. I myself am the cause of your departure. Know
that My eyes follow every move of your heart with great attention.
I am bringing you into seclusion so that I myself may form your
heart according to My future plans. What are you afraid of? If you
are with Me, who will dare touch you? Nevertheless, I am very
pleased that you confide your fears to Me, My daughter. Speak to
Me about everything in a completely simple and human way; by this
you will give Me great joy. I understand you because I am God-Man.
This simple language of your heart is more pleasing to Me than the
hymns composed in My honor. Know, my daughter, that the simpler
your speech is, the more you attract Me to yourself. And now, be
at peace close to My Heart. Lay your pen aside and get ready to
leave.
December 9, 1936. This morning, I left for Pradnik. Sister
Chrysostom drove me here. I have a private room to myself; I am
very much like a Carmelite. When Sister Chrysostom had left and I
was alone, I steeped myself in prayer, entrusting myself to the
special protection of the Mother of God. She alone is always with
me. She, like a good Mother, watches over all my trials and
efforts.
Suddenly, I saw the Lord Jesus, who said to me, Be
at peace, My child. See, you are not alone. My heart watches over
you. Jesus filled me with strength
concerning a certain person. I feel strength within my soul.
A moral principle.
If one does not know what is better, one must reflect, consider
and seek advice, because one must not act with an uncertain
conscience. When uncertain, say to yourself: “whatever I do will
be good. I have the intention of doing good.” The Lord God
accepts what we consider good, and the Lord God also accepts and
considers it as good. One should not worry if, after some time,
one sees that these things are not good. God looks at the
intention with which we begin, and will reward us accordingly.
This is a principle which we ought to follow.
Today, I still managed to pay a short visit to the Lord [in the
Eucharist] before going to bed. My spirit was immersed in Him as
in its only treasure. My heart rested a while near the Heart of my
spouse. I received light as to how I should behave toward those
around me, and then I returned to my solitude. The doctor is
taking good care of me; all those around me are very kind to me.
December 10, 1936. I got up earlier today and made my meditation
before Holy Mass. Holy Mass is at six o’clock here. After Holy
Communion my spirit was drowned in the Lord as in the sole object
of its love. I felt absorbed by His omnipotence. When I came back
to my private room, I felt sick and had to lie down at once. The
sister brought me some medication, but I felt bad all day. In the
evening, I tried to make a Holy Hour, but I could not do so; all I
could do was unite myself with the suffering Jesus.
My room is next to the men’s ward. I didn’t know that men were
such chatterboxes. From morning till late at night, there is talk
about various subjects. The woman’s ward is much quieter. It is
women who are always blamed for this; but I have had occasion to
be convinced that the opposite is true. It is very difficult for
me to concentrate on my prayer in the midst of these jokes and
this laughter. They do not disturb me when the grace of God takes
complete possession of me, because then I do not know what is
going on around me.
My Jesus, how little these people talk about You. They talk about
everything but You, Jesus. And if they talk so little about You,
it is quite probable that they do not think about You at all. The
whole world interests them; but about You, their Creator, there is
silence. Jesus, I am sad to see this great indifference and
ingratitude of creatures. O my Jesus, I want to love You for them
and to make atonement to You, by my love.

Immaculate Conception of the Mother of God. From early morning, I
felt the nearness of the Blessed Mother. During Holy Mass, I saw
Her, so lovely and so beautiful that I have no words to express
even a small part of this beauty. She was all in white, with a
blue sash around her waist. Her cloak was also blue, and there was
a crown on Her Head. Marvelous light streamed forth from Her whole
figure. I am the Queen of heaven and
earth, but especially the Mother of your Congregation. I
felt the force of Her Immaculate Heart which was communicated to
my soul. Now I understand why I have been preparing for this feast
for two months and have been looking forward to it with such
yearning. From today onwards, I am going to strive for the
greatest purity of soul, that the rays of God’s grace may be
reflected in all their brilliance. I long to be a crystal in order
to find favor in His eyes.
That same day, I saw a certain priest [probably Father Sopocko or
Fatehr Andrsz] who was surrounded by the light which flowed from
Her; evidently, this soul loves the immaculate One.
An extraordinary yearning fills my soul. I am surprised that it
does not separate the soul from the body. I desire God; I want to
become immersed in Him. I understand that I am in a terrible
exile; my soul aspires for God with all its might. O you
inhabitants of my fatherland, be mindful of this exile! When will
the veils be lifted for me as well? Although I see and feel to a
certain extent how very thin is the veil separating me from the
Lord, I long to see Him face to face; but let everything be done
according to Your will.
December 11. I could not assist at the whole Mass today; I
assisted at only the most important parts, and after receiving
Holy Communion I immediately returned to my solitude. The presence
of God suddenly enveloped me, and at the same moment I felt the
Passion of the Lord, for a very short while. During that moment, I
attained a more profound knowledge of the work of mercy.
During the night, I as suddenly awakened and knew that some soul
was asking me for prayer, and that it was in much need of prayer.
Briefly, but with all my soul, I asked the Lord for grace for her.
The following afternoon, when I entered the ward, I saw someone
dying, and learned that the agony had started during the night.
When I verified it, it had been at the time when I had been asked
for prayer. And just then, I heard a voice in my soul: Say
the chaplet which I taught you. I ran
to fetch my rosary and knelt down by the dying person and, with
all the ardor of my soul, I began to say the chaplet. Suddenly the
dying person opened her eyes and looked at me; I had not managed
to finish the entire chaplet when she died, with extraordinary
peace. I fervently asked the Lord to fulfill the promise He had
given me for the recitation of the chaplet. The Lord gave me to
know that the soul had been granted the grace He had promised me.
That was the first soul to receive the benefit of the Lords’
promise. I could feel the power of mercy envelop that soul.
When I entered my solitude, I heard these words: at
the hour of their death, I defend as My own glory every soul that
will say this chaplet; or when others say it for a dying person,
the indulgence is the same. When this chaplet is said by the
bedside of a dying person, God’s anger is placated, and
unfathomable mercy envelops the soul, and the very depths of My
tender mercy will be moved for the sake of the sorrowful Passion
of My son. Oh, if only everyone
realized how great the Lord’s mercy is and how much we all need
that mercy, especially at that crucial hour!
Today, I have fought a battle with the spirits of darkness over
one soul. How terribly satan hates God’s mercy! I see how he
opposes this whole work.
O merciful Jesus, stretched out on the Cross, be mindful of the
hour of our death. O most merciful Heart of Jesus, opened with a
lance, shelter me at the last moment of my life. O blood and
Water, which gushed forth from the Heart of Jesus as a fount of
unfathomable mercy for me at the hour of my death. O dying Jesus,
Hostage of mercy, avert the Divine wrath at the hour of my death.

December 12, 1936. Today, I only received Holy Communion and
stayed for a few moments of the Mass. All my strength is in You, O
Living bread. It would be difficult for me to live through the day
if I did not receive Holy Communion. It is my shield; without You,
Jesus, I know not how to live.
Jesus, my love, today gave me to understand how much He loves me,
although there is such an enormous gap between us, the Creator and
the creature; and yet; in a way, there is something like equality:
love fills up the gap. He himself descends to me and makes me
capable of communing with Him. I immerse myself in Him, losing
myself as it were; and yet, under His loving gaze, my soul gains
strength and power and an awareness that it loves and is
especially loved. It knows that that the Mighty One protects it.
Such prayer, though short, benefits the soul greatly, and whole
hours of ordinary prayer do not give the soul that light which is
given by a brief moment of this higher form of prayer.
This afternoon, I had my first open air rest on the sunny veranda
at the sanatorium. Sister Felicia visited me today and brought a
few necessary things and some lovely apples and words of greeting
from our beloved Mother superior and dear sisters.
December 13, 1936. Confession before Jesus.
When I reflected that I had not been to confession for more than
three weeks, I wept seeing the sinfulness of my soul and certain
difficulties. I had not gone to confession because the
circumstances made it impossible. On the day of confessions, I had
been confines to bed. The following week, confessions were in the
afternoon, and I had left for the hospital that morning. This
afternoon, Father Andresz came into my room and sat down to hear
my confession. Beforehand, we did not exchange a single word. I
was delighted because I was extremely anxious to go to confession.
As usual, I unveiled my whole soul. Father gave a reply to each
little detail. I felt unusually happy to be able to say everything
as I did. For penance, he gave me the litany of the Holy Name of
Jesus. When I wanted to tell him of the difficulty I have in
saying this litany, he rose and began to give me absolution.
Suddenly his figure became diffused with a great light, and I saw
that it was not Father A, but Jesus. His garments were bright as
snow, and He disappeared immediately. At first, I was a little
uneasy, but after a while a kind of peace entered my soul and I
took note of the fact that Jesus heard the confession in the same
way that confessors do; and yet something was wondrously
transpiring in my heart during this confession; I couldn’t at
first understand what it signified.
December 16, 1936. I have offered this day for Russia. I have
offered all my sufferings and prayers for that poor country. After
Holy Communion, Jesus said to me, I
cannot suffer that country any longer. Do not tie my hands, My
daughter. I understood that if it had
not been for the prayers of souls that are pleasing to God, that
whole nation would have already been reduced to nothingness. Oh,
how I suffer for that nation which has banished God from its
borders!
O inexhaustible spring of Divine Mercy, pour yourself out upon us!
Your goodness knows no limits. Confirm, O Lord, the power of Your
mercy over the abyss of my misery, for You have no limit to Your
mercies. Wonderful and matchless is Your mercy, astonishing the
human and angelic mind.
My Guardian angel told me to pray for a certain soul, and in the
morning I learned that it was a man whose agony had begun that
very moment. The Lord Jesus makes it known to me in a special way
when someone is in need of my prayer. I especially know when my
prayer is needed by a dying soul. This happens more often now than
it did in the past.
The Lord Jesus gave me to know how very pleasing to Him is a soul
who lives in accordance with the will of God. It thereby gives
very great glory to God…
I have come to understand today that even if I did not accomplish
any of the things the Lord is demanding of me, I know that I shall
be rewarded as if I had fulfilled everything, because He sees the
intention with which I begin, and even if He called me to himself
today, the work would not suffer at all by that, because He
himself is the Lord of both the work and the worker. My part is to
love Him to folly; all works are nothing more than a tiny drop
before Him. It is love that has meaning and power and merit. He
has opened up great horizons in my soul – love compensates for
the chasms.

December 17, 1936. I have offered this day for priests. I have
suffered more today than ever before, both interiorly and
exteriorly. I did not know it was possible to suffer so much in
one day. I tried to make a Holy Hour, in the course of which my
spirit had a taste of the bitterness of the Garden of Gethsemane.
I am fighting alone, supported by His arm, against all the
difficulties that face me like unassailable walls. But I trust in
the power of His name and I fear nothing.
In this seclusion, Jesus himself is my Master. He himself educates
and instructs me. I feel that I am the object of His special
action. For His inscrutable purposes and unfathomable decrees, He
unites me to Himself in a special way and allows me to penetrate
His incomprehensible mysteries. There is one mystery which unites
me with the Lord, of which no one – not even angels – may
know. And even if I wanted to tell of it, I would not know how to
express it. And yet, I live by it and will live by it for ever.
This mystery distinguishes me from every soul here on earth or in
eternity.
O bright and clear day on which all my dreams will be fulfilled; O
day so eagerly desired, the last day of my life! I look forward
with joy to the last stroke the Divine Artist will trace on my
soul, which will give my soul a unique beauty that will
distinguish me from the beauty of other souls. O great day, on
which divine love will be confirmed in me. On that day, for the
first time, I shall sing before heaven and earth the song of the
Lord’s fathomless mercy. This is my work and the mission which
the Lord has destined for me from the beginning of the world. That
the song of my soul may be pleasing to the Holy Trinity, do You, O
Spirit of God, direct and form my soul yourself. I arm myself with
patience and await your coming. O merciful God, and as to the
terrible pains and fear of death, at this moment more than at any
other time, I trust in the abyss of Your mercy and am reminding
you, O Merciful Jesus, sweet Savior, of all the promises You have
made to me.
This morning I had an adventure. My watch had stopped, and I did
not know when to get up, and I thought of what a misfortune it
would be to miss Holy Communion. It was still dark, so I had no
way of knowing whether it was time to get up. I dressed, made my
meditation and went to the chapel, but everything was still
locked, and silence reigned everywhere. I steeped myself in
prayer, especially for the sick. I now see how much the sick have
need of prayer. Finally, the chapel was opened. I found it
difficult to pray because I was already feeling very exhausted,
and immediately after Holy Communion I returned to my room. Then I
saw the Lord, who said to me, Know, My
daughter, that the ardor of your heart is pleasing to Me. And just
as you desire ardently to become united with Me in Holy Communion,
so too do I desire to give Myself wholly to you; and as a reward
for your zeal, rest on My Heart. At
that moment, my spirit was immersed in His Being, like a drop in a
bottomless ocean. I drowned myself in Him as in my sole treasure.
Thus I came to recognize that the Lord allows certain difficulties
for His greater glory.
December 18, 1936. Today I felt bad that a week had gone by and no
one had come to visit me. When I complained to the Lord, He
answered, isn’t it enough for you
that I visit you every day? I
apologized to the Lord and the hurt vanished. O God, my strength,
You are sufficient for me.
This evening I learned that a certain soul was in need of my
prayer. I prayed fervently, but felt that this was still not
enough, so I continued to pray for a longer time. On the following
day, I learned that the agony of a certain soul had started at
just that time and had continued until morning. I recognized what
struggles it had gone through. In a strange way, the Lord Jesus,
makes known to me that a dying soul has need of my prayer. I feel
vividly and clearly that spirit who is asking me for prayer. I was
not aware that souls are so closely united, and often it is my
Guardian Angel who tells me.
During Holy Mass, the little infant Jesus brings joy to my soul.
Often, distance does not exist, I see a certain priest who brings
Him down. I am awaiting Christmas with great yearning. I am living
in expectation together with the most Holy Mother.
O Light eternal, who come to this earth, enlighten my mind and
strengthen my will that I may not give up in times of great
affliction. May Your light dissipate all the shadows of doubt. May
Your omnipotence act through me. I trust in You, O uncreated
Light! You, O infant Jesus, are a model for me in accomplishing
Your Father’s will, You, who said, “Behold, I come to do Your
will.” Grant that I also may do God’s will faithfully in all
things. O divine infant, grant me this grace!
O my Jesus, my soul was yearning for the days of trial, but do not
leave me alone in the darkness of my soul. Rather, do You hold me
firmly, close to Yourself. Set a guard over my lips, so that the
fragrance of my sufferings may be known and pleasing to You alone.
O merciful Jesus, how longingly You hurried to the Upper Room to
consecrate the Host that I am to receive in my life. Jesus, You
desires to dwell in my heart. Your living Blood unites with mine.
Who can understand this close union? My heart encloses within
itself the Almighty, the Infinite One. O Jesus, continue to grant
me Your divine life. Let your pure and noble Blood throb with all
its might in my heart. I give You my whole being. Transform me
into Yourself and make me capable of doing Your Holy will in all
things and of returning Your love. O my sweet Spouse, you know
that my heart knows no one but You. You have opened up in my heart
an insatiable depth of love for You. From the very first moment it
knew you, my heart has loved You and has lost itself in You as its
one and only object. My your pure and omnipotent love be the
driving force of all my action. Who will ever conceive and
understand the depth of mercy that has gushed forth from Your
Heart?
I have experienced how much envy there is, even in religious life.
I see that there are few truly great souls, ready to trample on
everything that is not God. O soul, you will find no beauty
outside of God. Oh, how fragile is the foundation of those who
elevate themselves at the expense of others! What a loss!

December 19, 1936. This evening, I felt in my soul that a certain
person had need of my prayer. Immediately, I began to pray.
Suddenly, I realize interiorly and am aware of who the spirit is
who is asking this of me; I pray until I feel at peace. There is
great help for the dying in this chaplet. I often pray for an
intention that I have learned of interiorly. I always pray until I
experience in my soul that the prayer has had its effect.
Especially now, while I am in this hospital, I experience an inner
communion with the dying who ask me for prayer when their agony
begins. God has given me a wondrous contact with the dying! Since
this has been happening more frequently, I have been able to
verify it, even to the exact hour.
Today I was awakened suddenly at eleven o’clock at night and
clearly felt the presence near me of some spirit who was asking me
for prayer. Some force simply compelled me to pray. My vision is
purely spiritual, by means of a sudden light that God grants me at
that moment. I keep on praying until I feel peace in my soul, and
not always for an equally long time; because sometimes it happens
that with one “Hail Mary” I am already at peace, and then I
say the “De Profundis” and pray no longer. And sometimes it
happens that I pray the entire chaplet and only then feel at
peace. I have also discovered that if I feel constrained to pray
for a longer time; that is to say, I experience interior unrest,
the soul is undergoing a greater struggle and is going through a
longer final agony.
This is how I have verified the exact time: I have a watch, and I
look to see what time it is. On the following day, when they tell
me about that person’s death, I ask them about the time, and it
exactly corresponds, as does the length of the person’s last
agony. They say to me, “such and such person died today, but she
passed away quickly and peacefully.” It sometimes happens that
the dying person is in the second or third building away, yet for
the spirit, space does not exist. It sometimes happens that I know
about a death occurring several hundred kilometers away. This has
happened several times with regard to my family and relatives and
also sisters in religion, and even souls whom I have not known
during their lifetime.
O God of fathomless mercy, who allow me to give relief and help to
the dying by my unworthy prayer, be blessed as many thousand times
as there are stars in the sky and drops of water in all the
oceans! Let your mercy resound throughout the orb of the earth,
and let it rise to the foot of Your throne, giving praise to the
greatest of Your attributes; that is, Your incomprehensible mercy.
O God, this unfathomable mercy enthralls anew all the holy souls
and all the spirits of heaven. These pure spirits are immersed in
holy amazement as they glorify this inconceivable mercy of God,
which in turn arouses even greater admiration in them, and their
praise is carried out in a perfect manner. O eternal God, how
ardently I desire to glorify this greatest of Your attributes;
namely, Your unfathomable mercy. I see all my littleness, and
cannot compare myself to the heavenly beings who praise the
Lord’s mercy with holy admiration. But, I too, have found a way
to give perfect glory to the incomprehensible mercy of God.
O most sweet Jesus, who have deigned to allow miserable me to gain
a knowledge of Your unfathomable mercy; O most sweet Jesus, who
have graciously demanded that I tell the whole world of Your
incomprehensible mercy, this day I take into my hands the two rays
that spring from Your merciful Heart; that is, the Blood and the
Water; and I scatter them all over the globe so that each soul may
receive your mercy and, having received it, may glorify it for
endless ages. O most sweet Jesus who, in your incomprehensible
kindness, have deigned to unite my wretched heart to Your most
merciful Heart, it is with Your own heart that I glorify God, our
Father, as no soul has ever glorified Him before.
December 21, 1936. The radio is always playing in the afternoon,
so I feel the loss of silence. All morning long, there is
ceaseless talk and noise. My God, I was looking forward to being
in silence, happy that I should be talking only with the Lord, and
here it is just the opposite. Yet, nothing disturbs me now,
neither the talking nor the radio. In a word, nothing. By the
grace of God, when I am praying I do not even know where I am; I
know only that my soul is united with the Lord. And thus I pass my
days in this hospital.
I marvel at how many humiliations and sufferings that priests
accepts in this whole matter. I see this at particular times, and
I support him with my unworthy prayers. Only God can give one such
courage; otherwise one would give up. But I see with joy that all
these adversities contribute to God’s greater glory. The Lord
has few such souls. O infinite eternity. You will make manifest
the efforts of heroic souls, because the earth rewards their
efforts with hatred and ingratitude. Such souls do not have
friends; they are solitary. And in this solitude, they gain
strength; they draw their strength from God alone. With humility,
but also with courage, they stand firmly in the face of all the
storms that beat upon them. Luke high towering oaks, they are
unmoved. And in this there is just this one secret: that it’s
from God that they draw this strength, and everything whatsoever
they have need of, they have for themselves and for others. They
not only carry their own burden, but also know how to take on, and
are capable of taking on, the burdens of others. They are pillars
of light along God’s ways; they live in light themselves and
shed light upon others. They themselves live on the heights, and
know how to show the way to lesser ones and help them attain those
heights.
My Jesus, you see that I do not know how to write well and, on top
of that, I don’t even have a good pen. And often it scratches so
badly that I must put sentences together, letter by letter. And
that is not all. I also have the difficulty of keeping secret from
the sisters the things I write down, and so I often have to shut
my notebook every few minutes and listen patiently to someone’s
story, and then the time set aside for writing is gone. And when I
shut the notebook suddenly, the ink smears. I write with the
permission of my superiors and at the command of my confessor. It
is a strange thing: sometimes the writing goes quite well, but at
other times, I can hardly read it myself.

December 23, 1936. I am spending this time with the Mother of God
and preparing myself for the solemn moment of the coming of the
Lord Jesus. The Mother of God is instructing me in the interior
life of the soul with Jesus, especially in Holy Communion. It is
only in eternity that we shall know the great mystery effected in
us by Holy Communion. O most precious moments of my life!
O my Creator, I long for You! You understand me, O Lord of mine!
All that is on earth seems to me like a pale shadow. It is You I
long for and desire. Although You do so inconceivably much for me,
for Your yourself visit me in a special way, yet those visits do
not soothe the wound of my heart, but make me long all the more
for You, O Lord. Oh, take me to Yourself, Lord, if such is Your
will! You know that I am dying, and I am dying of longing for You;
and yet, I cannot die. Death, where are you? You draw me into the
abyss of Your divinity, and you veil yourself with darkness. My
whole being is immersed in You, yet I desire to see You face to
face. When will this come about for me?
Sister Chrysostom came to visit me today. She brought some lemons
and apples and a tiny Christmas tree. I was delighted with them.
Through sister Chrysostom, Mother superior asked the doctor [Adam
Silberg] to let me come home for Christmas, and he readily agreed.
I was very happy and burst into tears like a little child. Sister
Chrysostom was surprised that I looked so bad and had changed so
much, and she told me, “you know, little Faustina, probably you
will die. You must be suffering a great deal, sister.” I
answered that I was suffering more that day than on other days,
but that it was nothing and that, for the salvation of souls, it
was not too much. O merciful Jesus, give me the souls of sinners!
December 24, 1936. During Holy Mass today, I was united in a
particular way with God and His Immaculate Mother. The humility
and love of the Immaculate Virgin penetrated my soul. The more I
imitate the Mother of God, the more deeply I get to know God. Oh,
what infinite longing envelops my soul! Jesus, how can you still
leave me in this exile? I am dying of longing for You. Every touch
of my soul be you wounds me immensely. Love an suffering go
together; yet I would not exchange this pain caused by Your for
any treasure, because it is the pain of incomprehensible delights,
and these wounds of the soul are inflicted by a loving hand.
Sister C came in the afternoon and took me home for the holydays.
I was happy to be reunited with the community. As we were riding
through the city [Cracow] I imagined it was the town of Bethlehem.
As I watched all those people hurrying about, I thought: who is
meditating today, in recollection and silence, on this
inconceivable mystery? O pure Virgin, you are traveling today, and
so am i. I feel that today’s journey has its symbolism. O
radiant Virgin, pure as crystal, all immersed in God, I offer you
my spiritual life; arrange everything that it may be pleasing to
your Son. O my Mother, how ardently I desire that you give met he
infant Jesus during the Midnight Mass. And I felt such a living
presence of God in the depths of my soul, that it was only by
sheer will power that I restrained my joy in order not to show
outwardly what was going on in my soul.
Before the vigil supper, I entered the chapel for a moment to
break the wafer spiritually with those dear to my heart. I
presented them all, by name, to Jesus and begged for graces on
their behalf. But that wasn’t all. I commended to the Lord all
those who are being persecuted, those who are suffering, those who
do not know His Name, and especially poor sinners. O little Jesus,
I fervently ask you, enclose them all in the ocean of Your
incomprehensible mercy. O sweet Jesus, here is my heart; let it be
a little cozy dwelling place for Yourself. O infinite Majesty,
with what sweetness You drew close to us. Here, there is no dread
of the thunderbolts of the great Jehovah; here, there is the sweet
little Jesus. Here, no soul is afraid; although your majesty has
not lessened, but only concealed itself. After supper, I felt very
tired and was in pain. I had to lie down. But I kept vigil with
the Most Holy Mother, awaiting the arrival of the little child.

December 25, 1936. Midnight Mass. During Mass, God’s presence
pierced me through and through. A moment before the Elevation I
saw the Mother of God and the infant Jesus and the good Old Man
[St. Joseph]. The Most Holy Mother spoke these words to me: my
daughter, Faustina, take this most precious treasure, and
She gave me the infant Jesus. When I took Jesus in my arms, my
soul felt such unspeakable joy that I am unable to describe it.
But, strange thing, after a short while Jesus became awful,
horrible looking, grown up and suffering; and then the vision
vanished, and soon it was time to go to Holy Communion. When I
received the Lord Jesus in Holy Communion, my soul trembled under
the influence of God’s presence. The next day, I saw the infant
for a brief moment during the Elevation.
On the second day of the Feast, Father Andrasz came to celebrate
Mass for us, and during Mass I again saw the little Jesus. in the
afternoon, I went to confession. Father did not give an answer to
some of my questions that concerned this work. He said, “When
you recover, we shall talk about it in concrete terms, and now,
try to recover completely. As for the rest, you know what guidance
to follow and what direction to take in these matters.” As
penance, Father told me to say the chaplet that Jesus had taught
me.
While I was saying the chaplet, I heard a voice which said, Oh,
what great graces I will grant to souls who say this chaplet; the
very depths of My tender mercy are stirred for the sake of those
who say the chaplet. Write down these words, My daughter. Speak to
the world about My Mercy; let all mankind recognize My
unfathomable mercy. It is a sign for the end of times; after it
will come the day of justice. While there is still time, let them
have recourse to the fount of My mercy; let them profit from the
Blood and Water which gushed forth for them. O
human souls, where are you going to hide on the day of God’s
anger? Take refuge now in the fount of God’s mercy. O what a
great multitude of souls I see! They worshipped the Divine Mercy
and will be singing the hymn of praise for all eternity.
December 27. Today, I returned to my place of solitude [her
private room at the sanatorium] I had a pleasant trip as I
traveled with a certain person who was taking her baby to be
baptized. We gave her a lift as far as the Church in Podgorze. In
order to get out, she put the baby in my arms. When I took it, I
offered it, with an ardent prayer, to God, so that some day it
might give Him special glory. I felt in my soul that the Lord was
looking in a special way on that little soul. When we arrived on
Pradnik, sister N. helped me to carry my bundle. When we enterd my
room, we saw a beautiful paper angel with the inscription,
“Gloria in…” I think it is from the sick sister to whom I
sent the Christmas tree.
And so, the holydays are over. Nothing can still the yearning of
my soul. I long for You, o my Creator and eternal God! Neither
celebrations nor beautiful hymns soothe my soul; rather, they make
me yearn all the more. At the very mention of Your name, my spirit
springs toward You, O Lord.

December 28, 1936. Today I have started a novena to the Divine
Mercy. That is , I place myself in spirit before the image and
recite the chaplet which the Lord has taught me. On the second day
of the novena, I saw the image, as it were, come alive, adorned
with numberless votive lamps, and I saw great crowds of people
coming there, and many of them were filled with happiness. O
Jesus, with what great joy did my heart beat! I am making the
novena for the intention of two people; namely, the Archbishop [Jalbrzykowski]
and Father Sopocko. I am earnestly asking the Lord to inspire the
Archbishop to approve the chaplet, which is so pleasing to God,
and also the image, and that he may not put off or delay this
work…
Today the Lord’s gaze shot through me suddenly, like lightning.
At once, I came to know the tiniest specks in my soul, and knowing
the depths of my misery, I fell to my knees and begged the
Lord’s pardon, and with great trust I immersed myself in His
infinite mercy. Such knowledge does not depress me nor keep me
away from the Lord, but rather it arouses in my soul greater love
and boundless trust. The repentance of my heart is linked to love.
These extraordinary flashes from the Lord educate my soul. O sweet
rays of God, enlighten me to the most secret depth, for I want to
arrive at the greatest possible purity of heart and soul.
In the evening, a great longing took possession of my soul. I took
the pamphlet with the Image of the Merciful Jesus on it and
pressed it to my heart, and the following words burst forth from
my soul: “Jesus, eternal love, I live for You, I die for You,
and I want to become united with You.” Suddenly I saw the Lord
in His inexpressible beauty. He looked at me graciously and said, My
daughter, I too came down from heaven out of love for you, I lived
for you, I died for you, and I created the heavens for you. And
Jesus pressed me to His Heart and said to me, very soon now, be at
peace, My daughter. When I was alone,
my soul was set afire with the desire to suffer until the moment
when the Lord would say, “Enough” and even if I were to live
for thousands of years, I see in the light of God that is but one
moment. Souls…[unfinished thought].
December 29, 1936. Today after Holy Communion, I heard a voice in
my soul: My daughter, stand ready, for
I will come unexpectedly. Jesus, You
do not want to tell me the hour I am looking forward to with such
longing? My daughter, it is for your
won good. You will learn it, but not now; keep watch. O
Jesus, do with me as You please. I know You are the merciful
Savior and You will not change towards me at the hour of my death.
If at this time you are showing me so much special love, and are
condescending to unite yourself with me in such an intimate way
and with such great kindness, I expect even more at the hour of my
death. You, my Lord-God, cannot change. You are always the same.
Heaven can change, as well as everything that is created; but You,
O Lord, are ever the same and will endure forever. So come as You
like and when You like. Father of infinite mercy, I, Your child,
wait longingly for Your coming. O Jesus, You said in the Holy
Gospel, “Out of your mouth do I judge you.” Well, Jesus, I am
always speaking of Your inconceivable mercy, so I trust that you
will judge me according to Your unfathomable mercy.
December 30, 1936. The year is coming to an end. I took today as
the day of the monthly retreat. My spirit engrossed itself in the
benefits that God has lavished on me throughout this whole year.
My soul trembled at the sight of this immensity of God’s graces.
From my soul there burst forth a hymn of thanksgiving to the Lord.
For a whole hour, I remained steeped in adoration and
thanksgiving, contemplating, one by one, the benefits I had
received from God and also my own minor shortcomings. All that
this year contained has gone into the abyss of eternity. Nothing
is lost. I am glad that nothing gets lost.
December 30, 1936. One day retreat.
During the morning meditation, I felt an aversion and repugnance
for all created things. Everything pales before my eyes; my spirit
is detached from all things. I desire only God himself, and yet I
must live. This is a martyrdom beyond description. God imparts
himself to the soul in a loving way and draws it into the infinite
depths of His divinity, but at the same time He leaves it here on
earth for the sole purpose that it might suffer and die of longing
for Him. And this strong love is so pure that God himself finds
pleasure in it; and self-love has no access to its deeds, for here
everything is totally saturated with bitterness, and thus is
totally pure. Life is a continuous dying, painful and terrible,
and at the same time it is the depth of true life and of
inconceivable happiness and the strength of the soul; and because
of this, the soul, is capable of great deeds for the sake of God.
In the evening, I prayed for a few hours. First for my parents and
relatives, for Mother General and for the whole congregation, for
our students and for three priests [probably Archbishop
Jalbrzykowski, Father Sopocko, and Father Andresz] to whom I owe
very much. I ran the length and breadth of the whole world and
thanked the unfathomable mercy of God for all the graces granted
to people, and I begged pardon for everything by which they have
offended Him.
During vespers, I saw the Lord Jesus, who looked sweetly and
profoundly into my soul. My daughter,
have patience; it won’t be long now. That
profound look and those words filled my soul with strength and
power, courage and extraordinary trust that I would carry out
everything he was demanding of me, despite such tremendous
difficulties, and filled me with a special conviction that the
Lord is with me and that with Him I can do all things. All the
powers on earth and in hell are as nothing to me. Everything must
fall before the power of His Name. I entrust everything into Your
Hands, O my Lord and God. Sole commander of my soul, direct me
according to your eternal desires.

J.M.J. Cracow, Pradnik, January 1, 1937.
Jesus I trust in You.
Today at midnight, I bid goodbye to the old year 1936, and
welcomed the year 1937. It was with fear and trembling that, in
this first hour of the year, I faced this new period of time.
Merciful Jesus, with You I go boldly and courageously into
conflicts and battles. In your Name, I will accomplish everything
and overcome everything. My God, Infinite Goodness, I beg of You,
let Your infinite mercy accompany me always and in all things.
As I enter this year, fear of life overwhelms me, but Jesus brings
me out of this fear and lets me know what great glory this work of
mercy will bring Him.
There are times in life when the soul finds comfort only in
profound prayer. Would that souls knew how to persevere in prayer
at such times. This is very important.
J.M.J. Jesus I trust in You.
Resolutions for the year 1937, day 1, month 1.
Particular exam: remains the same; namely, to unite myself with
the Merciful Christ (that is; what would Christ do in such and
such a case?) and, in spirit, to embrace the whole world,
especially Russia and Spain.
General Resolution.
I. Strict observance of silence, interior silence.
II. To see the image of God in every sister; all love of neighbor
must flow from this motive.
III. To do the will of God faithfully at every moment of my life
and to live by this.
IV. To give a faithful account of everything to the spiritual
director and not to undertake anything of importance without a
clear understanding with him. I shall try to clearly lay bare to
him the most secret depths of my soul, bearing in mind that I am
dealing with God himself, and that His representative is just a
human being, and so I must pray daily that he be given light.
V. During the evening examination of conscience, I am to ask
myself the question: what if He were to call me today?
VI. Not to look for God far away, but within my own being to abide
with Him alone.
VII. In sufferings and torments, to take refuge in the tabernacle
and to be silent.
VIII. To join all sufferings, prayers, works and mortifications to
the merits of Jesus in order to obtain mercy for the world.
IX. To use free moments, however short, for prayers for the dying.
X. There must not be a day in my life when I do not recommend to
the Lord the works of our Congregation. Never have regard for what
others think of you [for human respect].
XI. Have no familiar relationships with anyone. Gentle firmness
toward the girls, boundless patience; punish them severely but
with such punishments as these: prayer and self-sacrifice. The
strength that is in the emptying of myself for their sake is for
them a source of constant remorse and the softening of their
obdurate hearts.
XII. The presence of God is the basis of all my thoughts, words
and deeds.
XIII. To take advantage of all spiritual help. To always put
self-love in its proper place; namely, the last. To perform my
spiritual exercises as though I were doing them for the last time
in my life, and in like manner to carry out all my duties.

January 2, 1937. The name of Jesus. Oh, how great is Your Name O
Lord! It is the strength of my soul. When my strength fails, and
darkness invades my soul, Your name is the sun whose rays give
light and also warmth, and under their influence the soul becomes
more beautiful and radiant, taking its splendor from Your Name.
When I hear the sweetest name of Jesus, my heartbeat grows
stronger, and there are times when, hearing the name of Jesus, I
fall into a swoon. My spirit eagerly strains toward Him.
This is a particularly important day for me. On this day I made my
first visit connected with the painting of the Image. On this day
the Divine Mercy received special external honor for the first
time, but here it was in the form that the Lord had requested.
This day of the sweet name of Jesus reminds me of many special
graces.
January 3. The Mother superior of the congregation that serves
this hospital visited me today, together with one of her sisters.
For a long while, we talked about spiritual matters. I recognized
in her a great ascetic, and so our conversation was pleasing to
God. Today a girl came to see me. I saw that she was suffering,
but not so much in body as in soul. I comforted her as much as I
could, but my words of consolations were not enough. She was a
poor orphan with a soul plunged in bitterness and pain. She opened
her soul to me and told me everything. I understood that, in this
case, simple words of consolation would not be enough. I fervently
interceded with the Lord for that soul and offered Him my joy so
that He would give it to her and take all feeling of joy away from
me. And the Lord heard my prayer. I was left only with the
consolation that she had been consoled.
Adoration. First Sunday of the month. During adoration, I felt so
strongly urged to act that I burst into tears and said to the
Lord, “Jesus, do not urge me, but give this inspiration to those
who you know are delaying the work.” And I heard these words: My
daughter, be at peace, it will not be long now.
During vespers, I heard these words: My
daughter, I want to repose in your heart, because many souls have
thrown Me out of their hearts today. I have experienced sorrow
unto death. I tried to comfort the
Lord, by offering Him my love a thousand times over. I felt,
within my soul, a great disgust for sin.
My heart is steeped in continual bitterness, because I want to go
to You, Lord, into the fullness of life. O Jesus, what a dreadful
wilderness this life seems to me! There is on this earth no
nourishment for either my heart or my soul. I suffer because of my
longing for You, O Lord. You have left me the Sacred Host. O Lord,
but it enkindles in my soul an even greater longing for You, O my
Creator and Eternal God! Jesus, I yearn to become untied with You.
Deign to hear the sighs of Your dearly beloved. Oh, how I suffer
because I am still unable to be united with You. But let it be
done according to your wishes.
January 5, 1937. this evening, I saw a certain priest [probably
Father Sopocko] who was in need of prayer for a certain matter. I
prayed fervently because the matter is very close to my heart as
well. Thank you, Jesus, for this kindness.
O Jesus, have mercy! Embrace the whole world and press me to Your
Heart… O Lord, let my soul repose in the sea of your
unfathomable mercy.

January 6, 1937. Today during Holy Mass, I was unwittingly
absorbed in the infinite majesty of God. The whole immensity of
God’s love flooded my soul. At that particular moment, I became
aware of how much God abases himself for my sake. He, the Lord of
Lords – and what am I, miserable being that I am, that Your
would commune thus with me? The wonder that took hold of me after
this special grace continued very vividly throughout the entire
day. Taking advantage of the intimacy to which the Lord was
admitting me, I interceded before Him for the whole world. At such
moments I have the feeling that the whole world is depending on
me.
My Master, cause my heart never to expect help from anyone, but I
will always strive to bring assistance, consolation and all manner
of relief to others. My heart is always open to the sufferings of
other; and I will not close my heart to the sufferings of others,
even though because of this, I have been scornfully nicknamed
“dump”; that is, because everyone dumps his pain into my
heart. To this I answered that everyone has a place in my heart
and I, in return, have a place in the Heart of Jesus. Taunts
regarding the law of love will not narrow my heart. My soul is
always sensitive on this point, and Jesus alone is the motive for
my love of neighbor.
January 7. During the Holy Hour, the Lord allowed me to taste His
Passion. I shared in the bitterness of the suffering that filled
His soul to overflowing. Jesus gave me to understand how a soul
should be faithful to prayer despite torments, dryness and
temptations; because oftentimes the realization of God’s great
plans depends mainly on such prayer. If we do not persevere in
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