|
Divine
Mercy Diary - Notebook 4 (Page 1 of 1)
Preface
| Introduction
Notebook
1 Page 1 | Notebook
1 Page 2 | Notebook
1 Page 3 | Notebook
2 Page 1 |
Notebook
2 Page 2 | Notebook
3 | Notebook
5 | Notebook
6
Divine Mercy
In my soul
The Diary
of the Servant of God
Sister M. Faustina Kowalska
NOTEBOOK IV
J.M.J.
Today Jesus came to live in my heart, He descended from His throne
on high, The great Lord, the Creator of all things; And He came to
me in the form of bread.
O Eternal God, in my bosom enclosed, Possessing You, I posses all
Heaven, And with the Angels I sing to You: Holy, I live for Your
glory alone.
Not with a Seraph, do You unite Yourself, O God, But with a
wretched man Who can do noting without You; But to him You are
ever merciful.
My heart is Your abode, O King of Eternal Glory; Rule in my heart
and be Lord, As in a palace of splendor untold.
O great, incomprehensible God, Who have deigned to abase Yourself
so, Humbly I adore You And beg You in Your goodness to save me.
J.M.J.
O sweet Mother of God, I model my life on You; You are for me the
bright dawn; In You I lose myself, enraptured.
O Mother, Immaculate Virgin, In You the divine ray is reflected,
Midst storms, ‘tis You who teach me to love the Lord, O my
shield and defense from the foe.
Cracow, August 10, 1937.
Sr. Mary Faustina
Of the Blessed Sacrament
O Sacred Host, fountain of divine sweetness, You give strength to
my soul; O You are the Omnipotent One, who took flesh of the
Virgin, You come to my heart, in secret, Beyond reach of the
groping senses.
J.M.J
Cracow, August 10, 1937
Notebook Four
All for You, Jesus, I desire to adore Your mercy with every beat
of my heart and, to the extent that I am able, to encourage souls
to trust in that mercy, as You yourself have commanded me, O Lord.
In my heart, in my soul, there is a dark night. My spirit has come
up against an impenetrable wall that hides God fro me. But this
darkness is not of my doing. Strange indeed is this torture of
which I fear to write in full. But even in this state, I am trying
to be faithful to You, O my Jesus. Always and in all things, my
heart beats for You alone.
August 10, 1937. I came back today from Rabka to Cracow. I feel
very ill. Only Jesus knows how much I am suffering. During these
day, I have very much resembled Jesus crucified. I have armed
myself with patience in order to explain to each sister why I was
not able to stay there; that is, because my health had become
worse, even though I knew very well that certain sisters would
inquire, not out of sympathy for my sufferings, but in order to
add to them.
O Jesus, what darkness is enveloping me and what nothingness is
penetrating me. But, my Jesus, do not leave me alone; grant me the
grace of faithfulness. Although I cannot penetrate the mystery of
God’s visitation, it is in my power to say: Your will be done.
August 12. On passing through Cracow, Rev. Father Sopocko paid me
a short visit today. I had wanted to see him, and God fulfilled my
desire. This priest is a great soul, entirely filled with God. My
joy was very great, and I thanked God for this great grace,
because it was for the greater glory of God that I wanted to see
him.
O living Host, O hidden Jesus. You see the condition of my soul.
Of myself, I am unable to utter Your Holy Name. I cannot bring
forth from my heart the fire of love but, kneeling at Your feet, I
cast upon the Tabernacle the gaze of my soul, a gaze of
faithfulness. As for You, You are ever the same, while within my
soul a change takes place. I trust that the time will come when
You will unveil Your countenance, and Your child will again see
Your sweet face. I am astonished, Jesus, that You can hide
yourself from me for so long and that You can restrain the
enormous love You have for me. In the dwelling of my heart, I am
listening and waiting for Your coming, O only Treasure of my
heart!
The Lord Jesus greatly protects His representatives on earth. How
closely He is united with them; and He orders me to give priority
to their opinion over His. I have come to know the great intimacy
which exists between Jesus and the priest. Jesus defends whatever
the priest says, and often complies with his wishes, and sometimes
makes His own relationship with a soul depend on the priest’s
advice. O Jesus, through a special grace, I have come to know very
clearly to what extent You have shared Your power and mystery with
them, more so than with the Angels. I rejoice in this, for it is
all for my good.
O my Jesus, when someone is unkind and unpleasant toward us, it is
difficult enough to bear this kind of suffering. But this is very
little in comparison to a suffering which I cannot bear; namely,
that which I experience when someone exhibits kindness towards me
and then lays snares at my feet at every step I take. What great
will power is necessary to love such a soul for God’s sake. Many
a time one has to be heroic in loving such a soul as God demands.
If contact with that person were infrequent, it would be easier to
endure, but when one lives in close contact with the person and
experiences this at each step, this demands a very great effort.
My Jesus, penetrate me through and through so that I might be able
to reflect You in my whole life. Divinize me so that my deeds may
have supernatural value. Grant that I may have love, compassion
and mercy for every soul without exception. O my Jesus, each of
Your saints reflects one of Your virtues; I desire to reflect Your
compassionate Heart, full of mercy, I want to glorify it. Let Your
mercy, O Jesus, be impressed upon my heart and soul like a seal,
and this will be my badge in this and the future life. Glorifying
Your Mercy is the exclusive task of my life.
August 15, 1937. Father Andrasz’s instructions.
These times of dryness and stark awareness of one’s
wretchedness, which God has permitted, allow the soul to know how
little it can do by itself. They will teach you how much you
should appreciate Gods’ graces. Secondly, faithfulness in all
exercises and duties, faithfulness in everything, just as in times
of joy. Thirdly, as regards the matters in question, be absolutely
obedient to the Archbishop [Jalbrzykowski] although, from time to
time, the matter can be brought to his attention, but peacefully.
Sometimes, a little bitter truth is necessary.
At the end of the conversation, I asked the priest to allow me to
commune with Jesus as I had done formerly. He answered, “I
cannot give orders to the Lord Jesus, but if He himself draws you
to himself you may follow the attraction. However, always remember
to show Him great reverence, for the Lord is great indeed. If you
are truly seeking God’s will in all this and desire to fulfill
it, you can be at peace; the Lord will not allow any sort of
error. As to the mortifications and sufferings, you will give me
an account next time of how you carry them out. Place yourself in
the hands of the Most Holy Mother.”
August 15, 1937. During meditation, God’s presence pervaded me
keenly, and I was aware of the Virgin Mary’s joy at the moment
of Her assumption. Towards the end of the ceremony carried out in
honor of the Mother of God, I saw the Virgin Mary, and She said to
me, Oh, how pleased I am with the
homage of your love! And at that
moment she covered all the sisters of our congregation with Her
mantle. With her right hand, she clasped Mother General Michael to
Herself, and with Her left hand she did so to me, while all the
sisters were at her feet, covered with Her mantle. Then the Mother
of God said, everyone who perseveres
zealously till death in My congregation will be spared the fire of
purgatory, and I desire that each one distinguish herself by the
following virtues: humility and meekness, chastity and love of God
and neighbor; compassion and mercy. After
these words, the whole congregation disappeared from my sight, and
I remained alone with the Most Holy Mother who instructed me about
the will of God and how to apply it to my life, submitting
completely to His most holy decrees. It is impossible for one to
please God without obeying His holy will. My
daughter, I strongly recommend that you faithfully fulfill all
God’s wishes, for that is most pleasing in His Holy eyes. I very
much desire that you distinguish yourself in this faithfulness in
accomplishing Gods’ will. Put the will of God before all
sacrifices and holocausts. While the
heavenly Mother was talking to me, a deep understanding of this
will of God was entering my soul.
My Jesus, delight of my heart, when my soul is filled with Your
divinity, I accept sweetness and bitterness with the same
equanimity. One and the other will pass away. All that I keep in
my soul is the love of God. For this I strive; all else is
secondary.
August 16, 1937. After Holy Communion, I saw the Lord Jesus in all
His majesty, and He said to me, My
daughter, during the weeks when you neither saw Me nor felt My
presence, I was more profoundly united to you than at time when
you experienced ecstasy. And the faithfulness and fragrance of
your prayer have reached me. After
these words, my soul became flooded with God’s consolation. I
did not see Jesus, and there was only one word I could utter and
that was: “Jesus.” and after pronouncing that Name, my soul
was again filled with light and deeper recollection, which lasted
uninterruptedly for three days. However, outwardly I could still
carry out my usual duties.
My whole being was stirred to its most secret depths. God’s
greatness does not frighten me, but makes me happy. By giving Him
glory, I myself am lifted up. On seeing His happiness, I myself am
made happy, because all that is in Him flows back upon me.
I came to know of the condition of a certain soul and of what in
that soul is displeasing to God. I learnt it in the following way:
I immediately feel pain in my hands, my feet and my side, in those
places where the hands, feet and the side of the Savior were
pierced. At that same time, I receive knowledge of the soul’s
condition and of the nature of the sin committed.
I experience a desire to make reparation to the Lord Jesus in a
way which corresponds to the offense. Today I wore a chain belt
for seven hours in order to obtain the grace of repentance for
that soul. In the seventh hour, I felt relief as the soul
experienced interiorly the remission of its sin, although it had
not yet gone to confession. For sins of the Flesh I mortify the
body and fast to the degree that I am permitted. For sins of
pride, I pray with my forehead touching the floor. For sins of
hatred, I pray and do some good deed for a person whom I find it
difficult. And thus I make amends according to the nature of the
sin of which I am aware.
August 19, 1937. Today during adoration, the Lord gave me to know
how much He desires a soul to distinguish itself by deeds of love.
And in spirit I saw how many souls are calling out to us, “give
us God.” And the blood of the Apostles boiled up within me. I
will not be stingy with it; I will shed it all to the last drop
for immortal souls. Although perhaps God will not demand that in
the physical sense, in spirit it is possible and no less
meritorious.
Today I realized that I was not to ask for a certain permission,
but that I was to respond to this matter as the Mother of God
would have me do. For the present, no explanations are necessary;
peace has returned to me. I received this inspiration just as I
was on my way to make my examination of conscience, and I was very
worried because I did not know how to go about it. Divine light
can do more in one moment than I, fatiguing myself for several
days.
August 22. This morning Saint Barbara, Virgin, visited me and
recommended that I offer Holy Communion for nine days on behalf of
my country and thus appease God’s anger. This virgin was wearing
a crown made of stars and was holding a sword in her hand. The
brilliance of the crown was the same as that of the sword. With
her white dress and her flowing hair, she was so beautiful that if
I had not already know the Virgin Mary I would have thought that
it was She. Now I understand that each virgin has a special beauty
all her own; a distinct beauty radiates from each of them.
August 25, 1937. Today reverend Father Sopocko arrived and will
stay with us until the 30th. I was extremely glad, because only
God knows how ardently I wished to see him for the sake of the
work God is doing through him, and this, even though the visit had
some unpleasant aspects to it as well.
While he was celebrating Mass, I saw during the elevation the
Crucified Lord Jesus, who was disengaging His right arm from the
Cross, and the light which was coming from the Wound was touching
His arm. This happened in the course of three Masses, and I
understood that God would give him strength to carry out this work
despite difficulties and opposition. This soul, who is pleasing to
God, is being crucified by numerous sufferings, but I am not at
all surprised, for this is how God treats those He especially
loves.
Today, the 29th, I received permission to have a longer
conversation with Rev. Dr. Sopocko. I learned that, although there
are difficulties, the work is moving ahead, and that the feast of
Mercy is already far advanced. It will not be long now before it
becomes a reality, but much prayer is still needed to bring an end
to certain difficulties.
“As concerns yourself, sister, it is good that you are remaining
in a state of holy indifference in everything that pertains to the
will of God, and that you are better maintaining a state of
equilibrium. Please do your best to keep this equanimity. Now, as
regards all these matters, you are to depend exclusively on Father
Andrasz; I am in complete agreement with him. Do nothing on your
own, sister, but in all matters take counsel from your spiritual
director. I beg you to keep your levelheadedness and as great a
calm as possible. One more thing, I am having printed the chaplet
which is to be on the back of the image, as well as the
invocations that resemble a litany; these too will be placed on
the back. Another large image has also been printed, and with it a
few pages which contain the Novena to the Divine Mercy. Pray,
sister, that this be approved.”
August 30. Reverend Father Sopocko left this morning. When I was
steeped in a prayer of thanksgiving for the great grace that I had
received from God; namely, that of seeing Father, I became united
in a special way with the Lord who said to me, he
is a priest after My own Heart; his efforts are pleasing to Me.
You see, My daughter, that My will must be done and that which I
had promised you, I shall do. Through him I spread comfort to
suffering and careworn souls. Through him it pleased Me to
proclaim the worship of My mercy. And through this work of mercy
more souls will come close to Me than otherwise would have, even
if he had kept giving absolution day and night for the rest of his
life, because by so doing, he would have labored only for as long
as he lived; whereas, thanks to this work of mercy, he will be
laboring till the end of the world.
I had undertaken to make a novena for
the intention of seeing him, but I did not even finish it before
God granted me that grace.
O my Jesus, how poorly I took advantage of this grace. But that
did not depend on me, though from another point of view, it did so
very much.
During this conversation, I came to know his anguished soul. This
crucified soul resembles the Savior. Where he expects, with good
reason, to find consolation, he finds the cross. He lives among
many friends, but has no one but Jesus. This is how God strips the
soul He especially loves.
Today I heard these words: My daughter,
be always like a little child towards those who represent Me,
otherwise you will not benefit from the graces I bestow on you
through them.
September 1, 1937. I saw the Lord
Jesus, like a King in great majesty, looking down upon our earth
with great severity; but because of His Mother’s intercession He
prolonged the time of His mercy.
September 3. First Friday of the month. During Holy Mass, I became
united with God. Jesus gave me to know that even the smallest
thing does not happen on earth without His will. After having seen
this, my soul entered into an unusual repose; I found myself
completely at peace as to the work in its full extent. God can
deal with me as He pleases, and I will Bless Him for everything.
Up to now, I have been wondering, with some fear, where these
inspirations would lead me. My fear increased when the Lord made
known to me that I was to leave this congregation. this is the
third year passing by since that time, and my soul has felt, in
turns, enthusiasm and an urge to act – and then I have a lot of
courage and strength – and then again, when the decisive moment
to undertake the work draws near, I feel deserted by God, and
because of this an extraordinary fear pervades my soul, and I see
that it is not the hour intended by God to initiate the work.
These are suffering about which I don’t even know how to write.
God alone knows what I put up with, day and night. It seems to me
that the worst torments or the martyrs would be easier for me to
bear than what I am going through, though without the shedding of
a drop of blood. But all this is for souls, for souls, Lord…
Act of total abandonment to the will of God, which is for me, love
and mercy itself.
Act of Oblation
Jesus-Host, whom I have this very moment received into my heart,
through this union with You I offer myself to the heavenly Father
as a sacrificial host, abandoning myself totally and completely to
the most merciful and holy will of my God. From today onward, Your
will, Lord, is my food. Take my whole being; dispose of me as You
please. Whatever Your Fatherly hands gives me, I will accept with
submission, peace and joy. I fear nothing, no matter in what
direction You lead me; helped by Your grace I will carry out
everything You demand of me. I no longer fear any of Your
inspirations nor do I probe anxiously to see where they will lead
me. Lead me, O God, along whatever roads You please; I have placed
all my trust in Your will which is, for me, love and mercy itself.
Bid me to stay in this convent, I will stay, bid me to undertake
the work, I will undertake it; leave me in uncertainty about the
work until I die, be blessed; give me death when, humanly
speaking, my life seems particularly necessary, be blessed. Should
You take me in my youth, be blessed, should you let me live to a
ripe old age, be blessed. Should You give me health and strength,
be blessed; should You confine me to a bed of pain for my whole
life, be blessed. Should you give only failures and
disappointments in life, be blessed. Should You allow my purest
intentions to be condemned, be blessed. Should You enlighten my
mind, be blessed. Should You leave me in darkness and all kinds of
torments, be blessed.
From this moment on, I live in the deepest peace, because the Lord
himself is carrying me in the hollow of His hand. He, the Lord of
unfathomable mercy, knows that I desire Him alone in all things,
always and everywhere.
Prayer. O Jesus, stretched out upon the cross, I implore You, give
me the grace of doing faithfully the most holy will of your
Father, in all things, always and everywhere. And when this will
of God will seem to me very harsh and difficult to fulfill, it is
then I beg You, Jesus, may power and strength flow upon me from
Your wounds, and may my lips keep repeating, “Your will be done,
O Lord”. O Savior of the world, Lover of man’s salvation, who
in such terrible torment and pain forget Yourself to think only of
the salvation of soul, O most compassionate Jesus, grant me the
grace to forget myself that I may live totally for souls, helping
You in the work of salvation, according to the most holy will of
Your Father…
September 5, 1937. The Lord let me know how much our dear Mother
superior [Irene] is defending me against… not only by prayer but
also by deed. Thank You Jesus, for this grace. It will not go
unrequited in my heart; when I am with Jesus, I do not forget
about her.
September 6, 1937. Today, I begin a new assignment. I go from the
garden to the desert of the gate. I went in to talk to the Lord
for a while. I asked Him for a blessing and for graces to
faithfully carry out the duties entrusted to me. I heard these
words: My daughter, I am always with
you. I have given you the opportunity to practice deeds of mercy
which you will perform according to obedience. You will give Me
much pleasure if, each evening, you will speak to Me especially
about this task. I felt that Jesus
had given me a new grace in relation to my new duties; but,
despite this, I have locked myself deeper in His Heart.
Today I felt more ill, but Jesus has given me many more
opportunities on this day to practice virtue. It so happened that
I was busier than usual, and the sister in charge of the kitchen
made it clear to me how irritated she was that I had come late for
dinner, although it was quite impossible for me to have come
sooner. At any rate, I felt so unwell that I had to ask Mother
superior to allow me to lie down. I went to ask sister N. to take
my place, and again I got a scolding: “what is this, sister,
you’re so exhausted that you’re going back to bed again!
Confound you with all this lying in bed!” I put up with all
that, but that wasn’t the end. I still had to ask the sister who
was in charge of the sick to bring me my meal. When I told her
this, she burst out of the chapel into the corridor after me to
give me a piece of her mind: “why on earth are you going to bed,
sister, etc…” I asked her not to bother bringing me anything.
I am writing all this very briefly because it is not my intention
to write about such things, and I am doing so merely to dissuade
souls from treating others in this way, for this is displeasing to
the Lord. In a suffering soul we should see Jesus Crucified and
not a loafer or burden on the community. A soul who suffers with
submission to the will of God draws down more blessings on the
whole convent than all the working sisters. God often grants many
and great graces out of regard for the souls who are suffering,
and He withholds many punishments solely because of the suffering
souls.
O my Jesus, when shall we look upon souls with higher motives in
mind? When will our judgments be true? You give us occasions to
practice deeds of mercy, and instead we use the occasions to pass
judgment. In order to know whether the love of God flourishes in a
convent, one must ask how they treat the sick, the disabled, and
the infirm who are there.
September 10, 1937. I learned in the course of meditation that the
purer the soul, the greater her communion with God on the
spiritual level. She pays little heed to the senses and their
protests. God is a Spirit, and so I love Him in spirit and in
truth.
When I heard how dangerous it was to be at the gate these days
because of revolutionary disturbances and how many evil people
have a hatred for convents, I went in and had a talk with the Lord
and asked Him to so arrange it that no evil person would dare come
to the gate. Then I heard these words: My
daughter, the moment you went to the gate I set a Cherub over it
to guard it. Be at peace. After
returning from my conversation with the Lord, I saw a little white
cloud and, in it, a Cherub with his hands joined. His gaze was
like lightening, and I understood how the fire of God’s love
burns in that look…
September 14, 1937. Exaltation of the Holy Cross.
Today I saw what great opposition this priest [Father Sopocko] is
experiencing in regard to this whole matter. Even devout souls who
are zealous for God’s glory are opposing him. That he is not
discouraged by all this is due to a special grace of God.
Jesus: My daughter, do you think you
have written enough about my mercy? What you have written is but a
drop compared to the ocean. I am Love and mercy itself. There is
no misery that could be a match for My mercy, neither will misery
exhaust it, because as it is being granted – it increases. The
soul which will trust in My mercy is most fortunate, because I
myself take care of it.
I experience great torments of soul
when I see God offended. Today I recognized that mortal sins were
being committed not far from our door. It was evening, I prayed
earnestly in the chapel, and then I went to scourge myself. When I
knelt down to pray, however, the Lord allowed me to experience who
a soul rejected by God suffers. It seems to me that my heart was
torn to pieces, and at the same time I understood how much such a
soul wounds the most merciful Heart of Jesus. The poor creature
does not want to accept God’s mercy. The more God has pursued a
soul with His mercy, the more just will he be towards it.
My secretary, write that I am more
generous toward sinners than toward the just. It was for their
sake that I came down from heaven; it was for their sake that My
Blood was spilled. Let them not fear to approach Me; they are most
in need of My mercy.
September 16, 1937. I wanted very
much to make a Holy hour before the Blessed Sacrament today. But
God’s will was otherwise. At eight o’clock I was seized with
such violent pains that I had to go to bed at once. I was
convulsed with pain for three hours; that is, until eleven
o’clock at night. No medicine had any effect on me, and whatever
I swallowed I threw up. At times, the pains caused me to lose
consciousness. Jesus had me realize that in this way I took part
in His agony in the garden, and that He himself allowed these
sufferings in order to offer reparation to God for the souls
murdered in the wombs of wicked mothers. I have gone through these
sufferings three times now. They always start at eight o’clock
in the evening and last until eleven. No medicine can lessen these
sufferings. When eleven o’clock comes, they cease by themselves,
and I fall asleep at that moment. The following day, I feel very
weak.
This happened to me for the first time when I was at the
sanatorium. The doctors couldn’t get to the bottom of it, and no
injection or medicine helped me at all or did I myself have any
idea of what the sufferings were about. I told the doctor that
never before in my life had I experienced such sufferings, and he
declared he did not know what sort of pains they are. But now I
understand the nature of these pains, because the Lord himself has
made this known to me… yet when I think that I may perhaps
suffer in this way again, I tremble. But I don’t know whether
I’ll ever again suffer in this way; I leave that to God. What it
pleases God to send, I will accept with submission and love. If
only I could save even one soul from murder by means of these
sufferings!
On the day after these sufferings, I can sense the condition of
souls and their disposition towards God; I am pervaded with true
knowledge.
I receive Holy Communion in the manner of the angels so to speak.
My soul is filled with God’s light and nourishes itself from
Him. My feelings are as if dead. This is a purely spiritual union
with God; it is a great predominance of spirit over nature.
The Lord gave me knowledge of the graces which He has been
constantly lavishing on me. This light pierced me through and
through, and I came to understand the inconceivable favors that
God has been bestowing on me. I stayed in my cell for a long act
of thanksgiving, lying face down on the ground and shedding tears
of gratitude. I could not rise from the ground because, whenever I
tried to do so, God’s light gave me new knowledge of His Grace.
It was only at the third attempt that I was able to get up. As His
child, I felt that everything the heavenly Father possessed was
equally mine. He himself lifted me from the ground up to His
Heart. I felt that everything that existed was exclusively mine,
but I had no desire for it all, because God alone is enough for
me.
Today I learned with what aversion the Lord comes to a certain
soul in Holy Communion. He goes to that heart as to a dark prison,
to undergo torture and affliction. I kept begging His pardon and
offering atonement for the offense.
The Lord made known to me that I would see my brother [Stanley]
but I could not understand how this would happen or why he should
come to visit me. I knew that God had given him the grace of a
religious vocation, but why should he be coming to visit me?
However, I put aside these thoughts and believed that if the Lord
had given me to know he would come, that was enough for me. I
fixed my thoughts on God, putting aside every preoccupation with
creatures and entrusting everything to the Lord.
When the same poor people come to the gate a second time, I treat
them with greater gentleness, and I do not let them see that I
know they have been here before. I do this in order not to
embarrass them. And then they speak to me freely about their
troubles and needs.
Although sister N. tells me that is not the way to deal with
beggars, and slams the door in their faces, when she is not there,
I treat them as My Master would. Sometimes more is given when
giving nothing, than when giving much in a rude manner.
Often the Lord gives me interior knowledge concerning the persons
I meet at the gate. One pitiable soul wanted to tell me a bit
about herself. Taking advantage of the opportunity, I made her
understand, in a delicate way, the miserable condition of her
soul. She went away with a better disposition.
September 17, 1937. O Jesus, I see so much beauty scattered around
me, beauty for which I give You constant thanks. But I see that
some souls are like stone. Always cold and unfeeling. Even
miracles hardly move them. Their eyes are always fixed on their
feet, and so they see nothing but themselves.
You have surrounded my life with Your tender and loving care, more
than I can comprehend, for I will understand Your goodness in its
entirety only when the veil is lifted. I desire that my whole life
be but one act of thanksgiving to You, O God.
Thank You, O God for all the graces which unceasingly You lavish
upon me, graces which enlighten me with the brilliance of the sun,
for by them You show me the sure way.
Thank You, O Lord for creating me,
For calling me into being from nothingness,
For imprinting Your divinity on my soul,
The work of sheer merciful love.
Thank you O God, for Holy Baptism
Which engrafted me into Your family,
A gift great beyond all thought or expression
Which transforms my soul.
Thank You O God, for Holy Confession,
For that inexhaustible spring of great mercy,
For that inconceivable fountain of graces
In which sin-tainted souls become purified.
Thank You, O Jesus, for Holy Communion,
In which you give us Yourself.
I feel Your Heart beating within my breast
As you cause Your divine life to unfold within me.
Thank You, O Holy Spirit, for the Sacrament of Confirmation,
Which dubs me Your Knight
And gives strength to my soul at each moment,
Protecting me from evil.
Thank You, O God, for the grace of a vocation
For being called to serve You alone,
Leading me to make you my sole love,
An unequal honor for my soul.
Thank You, O Lord, for perpetual vows,
For that union of pure love,
For having deigned to unite Your pure Heart with mine
And uniting my heart to Yours in the purest of bonds.
Thank You, O Lord, for the Sacrament of Anointing
Which, in my final moments, will give me strength;
My help in battle, my guide to salvation,
Fortifying my soul till we rejoice forever.
Thank You, O God, for all the inspirations
That Your goodness lavishes upon me,
For the interior lights given my soul,
Which the heart senses, but words cannot express.
Thank You, O Holy Trinity, for the vastness of the graces
Which You have lavished on me unceasingly through life.
My gratitude will intensify as the eternal dawn rises,
When, for the first time, I sing to Your glory.
Despite the peace in my soul, I fight
a continuous battle with the enemy of my soul. More and more, I am
discovering his traps, and the battle flares up anew. During
interludes of calm, I exercise myself and keep watch, lest the
enemy find me unprepared. And when I see his great fury, I stay
inside the stronghold, that is, the Most Sacred Heart of Jesus.
September 19, 1937. Today, the Lord told me, My
daughter, write that it pains Me very much when religious souls
receive the Sacrament of love merely out of habit, as if they did
not distinguish this food. I find neither faith nor love in their
hearts. I go to such souls with great reluctance. It would be
better if they did not receive Me.
Most sweet Jesus, set on fire my love
for You and transform me into Yourself. Divinize me that my deeds
may be pleasing to You. May this be accomplished by the power of
the Holy Communion which I receive daily. Oh, how greatly I desire
to be wholly transformed into You, O Lord!
September 19, 1937. Today, my own brother, Stanley, visited me. I
rejoiced greatly in this beautiful soul, who also intends to
devote himself to God’s service. That is to say, God himself is
drawing him to His love. We talked for a long time about God,
about His goodness. During this conversation with him I learned
how pleasing his soul was to God. I received permission from
Mother superior to see him more often. When he asked my advice
about entering religion, I replied, “Surely you know best what
God is asking of you.” I mentioned the Jesuit order, but said,
“enter wherever you like.” I promised to pray for him, and I
decided to make a novena to the Sacred Heart through the
intercession of Father Peter Skarga with the promise of having it
announced in the Messenger of the Sacred Heart, because he is
having great difficulties in this matter. I understood that, in
this case, prayer was more useful than advice.
September 21. Having awakened several times during the night, I
thanked God briefly, but with all my heart, for all the graces He
has given me and to our Congregation, and I reflected on His great
goodness.
When I received Holy Communion, I said to Him, “Jesus, I thought
about You so many times last night,” and Jesus answered me, and
I thought of you before I called you into being. “Jesus,
in what way were You thinking about me?” in
terms of admitting you to My eternal happiness. After
these words, my soul was flooded with the love of God. I could not
stop marveling at how much God loves us.
It so happened that I feel again into a certain error, in spite of
a sincere resolution not to do so – even though the lapse was a
minor imperfection and rather involuntary – and at this I felt
such acute pain in my soul that I interrupted my work and went to
the chapel for a while. Falling at the feet of Jesus, with love
and a great deal of pain, I apologized to the Lord, all the more
ashamed because of the fact that in my conversation with Him after
Holy Communion this very morning I had promised to be faithful to
Him. Then I heard these words: if it
hadn’t been for this small imperfection, you wouldn’t have
come to Me, know that as often as you come to Me, humbling
yourself and asking My forgiveness, I pour out a superabundance of
graces on your soul, and your imperfection vanishes before My
eyes, and I see only your love and your humility. You lose nothing
but gain much…
The Lord has given me to know that
when a soul does not accept the graces intended for it, another
soul receives them immediately. O my Jesus, make me worthy of
accepting your graces, because, of myself, I can do nothing.
Without Your help, I cannot even utter Your name worthily.
September 25, 1937. When I learned how great are the difficulties
in this whole work, I went to the Lord and said, “Jesus, don’t
You see how they are hindering Your work?” and I heard a voice
in my soul: do as much as is in your
power, and don’t worry about the rest. These difficulties prove
that this work is Mine. Be at peace so long as you do all that is
in your power.
Today, I opened the gate for Mother superior and knew interiorly
that she was going to town on business regarding the work of the
Divine Mercy. It is this superior who has contributed most to this
whole work of mercy.
Today I imprudently asked two poor children if they really had
nothing at home. The children, without answering me, walked away
from the gate. I understood how difficult it was for them to speak
about their poverty, so I went after them in a hurry and brought
them back, giving them as much as I had permission for.
O God, show me Your mercy
According to the compassion of the Heart of Jesus.
Hear my sighs and entreaties,
And the tears of a contrite heart.
O Omnipotent, ever merciful God,
Your compassion is never exhausted.
Although my misery is as vast as the sea,
I have complete trust in the mercy of the Lord.
O Eternal Trinity, yet ever gracious God,
Your compassion is without measure.
And so I trust in the sea of Your mercy,
And sense You, Lord, though a veil holds me aloof.
May the omnipotence of Your mercy, O Lord,
Be glorified all over the world.
May its veneration never cease.
Proclaim, my soul, God’s mercy with fervor.
September 27, 1937. Today, Mother
superior and I went to see a certain gentleman where they were
printing and painting small holy cards of the Divine Mercy, and
also the invocations and the chaplet, which have already received
approbation. And we were also to see the improved larger image. It
very much resembles the original. This made me very happy.
When I looked at this image, I was pierced with such a lively love
for God that, for a moment, I did not know where I was. When we
had finished our business, we went to the church of the Most Holy
Virgin Mary. We attended Holy Mass, during which the Lord gave me
to know what a great number of souls would attain salvation
through this work. Then I entered into an intimate conversation
with the Lord, thanking Him for having condescended to grant me
the grace of seeing how the veneration of His unfathomable mercy
is spreading. I immersed myself in a profound prayer of
thanksgiving. Oh, how great is Gods’ generosity! Blessed be the
Lord, who is faithful in His promises…
It is extraordinary how Mother Irene has so much light from God
concerning this whole matter. She was the first to allow me to
carry out the Lord’s wishes, although it was not until two years
after the revelation that she became my superior. And despite this
fact, she was the first to go with me when the painting of the
image was first undertaken. And now again, when some things
concerning the Divine Mercy are being published, and small holy
cards are being printed, again it is she who is going with me to
take care of this matter. God has ordained all this in a
mysterious way, because this was begun in Vilnius, and now God’s
will has so directed the circumstances that this matter is being
continued in Cracow. I know how pleasing this superior is to God;
I see how God is directing everything and wants me to be under her
protection during these important times… thank You, Lord, for
such superiors, who live in the love and fear of God. That is why
I pray for her most of all, because she has put herself out the
most for the sake of this work of Divine Mercy…
September 29, 1937. Today, I have come to understand many of
God’s mysteries. I have come to know that Holy Communion remains
in me until the next Holy Communion. A vivid and clearly felt
presence of God continues in my soul. The awareness of this
plunges me into deep recollection, without the slightest effort on
my part. My heart is a living tabernacle in which the living Host
is reserved. I have never sought God in some far off place, but
within myself. It is in the depths of my own being that I commune
with my God.
My God, despite all the graces, I long without cease to be
eternally united with my God; and the better I know Him, the more
ardently I desire Him.
J.M.J.
With longing I gaze into the starlit sky.
Into the sapphire of fathomless firmaments.
There the pure heart leaps out to find You, O God,
And yearns to be freed of the bonds of the flesh.
With great longing I gaze upon You, my homeland,
When will this, my exile, come to an end?
O Jesus, such is the call of Your bride
Who suffers agony in her thirst for You.
With longing, I gaze at the footprints of the saints
Who crossed this wilderness on their way to the fatherland.
They left me the example of their virtue and their counsels,
And they say to me, “patience, sister, soon the fetters will
break.”
But my longing soul hears not these words.
Ardently it yearns for its Lord and its God,
And it understands not human language,
Because it is enamored of Him alone.
My longing soul, wounded with love,
Forces its way through all created things
And unites itself with infinite eternity,
With the Lord whom my heart has espoused.
Allow my longing soul, O God,
To be drowned in Your divine Three fold essence.
Fulfill my desires, for which I humbly beg You,
With a heart brimming with love’s fire.
A certain person came to the door
today and asked to be admitted as one of our students. But she
could not be admitted. She was in great need of our house. During
the conversation which I had with her, the Passion of Jesus was
renewed in me. When she had gone, I undertook one of the severest
mortifications. Nevertheless, the next time I will not let such a
soul get away. For three days I suffered much on her account. How
much I regret that our institutions are so small and that they
cannot accommodate a greater number of souls. My Jesus, You know
how much I grieve over every straying sheep…
O humility, lovely flower, I see how few souls possess you. Is it
because you are so beautiful and at the same time so difficult to
attain? O yes, it is both the one and the other. Even God takes
great pleasure in her. The floodgates of heaven are open to a
humble soul, and a sea of graces flows down upon her. O how
beautiful is a humble soul! From her heart, as from a censer,
rises a varied and most pleasing fragrance which breaks through
the skies and reaches God himself, filling His Most Sacred Heart
with joy. God refuses nothing to such a soul; she is all powerful
and influences the destiny of the whole world. God raises such a
soul up to His very throne, and the more she humbles herself, the
more God stoops down to her, pursuing her with His graces and
accompanying her at every moment with His omnipotence. Such a soul
is most deeply united with God. O humility, strike deep roots in
my whole being. O Virgin most pure, but also most humble, help me
to attain deep humility. Now I understand why there are so few
saints; it is because so few souls are deeply humble.
Eternal love, depth of Mercy, O Triune Holiness, yet One God,
whose bosom is full of love for all, as a good Father, You scorn
no one. O love of God, living Fountain, pour Yourself out upon us,
Your unworthy creatures. May our misery not hold back the torrents
of Your love, for indeed, there is no limit to Your Mercy.
Jesus, I have noticed that You seem to be less concerned with me. Yes,
My child, I am replacing Myself with your spiritual director [Father
Andresz] He is taking care of you
according to My will. Respect his every word as My own. He is the
veil behind which I am hiding. Your director and I are one; his
words are My words.
When I make the way of the Cross, I
am deeply moved at the twelfth station. Here I reflect on the
omnipotence of God’s mercy which passed through the Heart of
Jesus. In this open wound of the Heart of Jesus I enclose all poor
humans… and those individuals whom I love, as often as I make
the way of the Cross. From that Fount of Mercy issued the two
rays; that is, the Blood and the Water. With the immensity of
their grace they flood the whole world…
When one is ill and weak, one must constantly make efforts to
measure up to what others are going as a matter of course. But
even those matter of course things cannot always be managed.
Nevertheless, thank You, Jesus, for everything, because it is not
the greatness of the works, but the greatness of the effort that
will be rewarded. What is done out of love is not small, O my
Jesus, for Your eyes see everything. I do not know why I feel so
terribly unwell in the morning, I have muster all my strength to
get out of bed, sometimes even to the point of heroism. The
thought of Holy Communion gives me back a little more strength.
And so, the day starts with a struggle and ends with a struggle.
When I go to take my rest, I feel like a soldier returning from
the battlefield. You alone, my lord and Master, know what this day
has contained.
Meditation. During meditation, the sister on the kneeler next to
mine keeps coughing and clearing her throat, sometimes without a
break. It occurred to me one that I might take another place for
the time of the meditation, because Mass had already been offered.
But then I thought that if I did change my place, the sister would
notice this and might feel hurt that I had moved away from her. So
I decided to continue in prayer in my usual place, and to offer
this act of patience to God. Toward the end of the meditation, my
soul was flooded with God’s consolation, and this to the limit
of what my heart could bear; and the Lord gave me to know that if
I had moved away from that sister I would have moved away also
from those graces that flowed in my soul.
Jesus came to the main entrance today, under the guise of a poor
young man. This young man, emaciated, barefoot and bareheaded, and
with his clothes in tatters, was frozen because the day was cold
and rainy. He asked for something hot to eat. So I went to the
kitchen, but found nothing there for the poor. But, after
searching around for some time, I succeeded in finding some soup,
which I reheated and into which I crumbled some bread, and I gave
it to the poor young man, who ate it. As I was taking the bowl
from him, he gave me to know that He was the Lord of heaven and
earth. When I saw Him as he was, He vanished from my sight. When I
went back in and reflected on what had happened at the gate, I
heard these words in my soul: My
daughter, the blessings of the poor who Bless Me as they leave
this gate have reached My ears. And your compassion, within the
bounds of obedience, has pleased Me, and this is why I came down
from My throne – to taste the fruits of your mercy.
O my Jesus, now everything is clear
to me, and I understand all that has just happened. I somehow felt
and asked myself what sort of a poor man is this who radiates such
modesty. From that moment on, there was stirred up in my heart an
even purer love toward the poor and the needy. Oh, how happy I am
that my superiors have given me such a task! I understand that
mercy is manifold; one can do good always and everywhere and at
all times. An ardent love of God sees all around itself constant
opportunities to share itself through deed, word and prayer. Now I
understand the words which You spoke to me, O Lord, some time ago.
Oh, what great efforts I must make to carry out my duties well
when my health is so poor! This will be known to You alone, O
Christ.
In times of interior desolation I do not lose my peace, because I
know that God never abandons a soul, except perhaps only when the
soul itself breaks the bond of love by its unfaithfulness.
However, all creatures without exception depend on the Lord and
are maintained by His omnipotence. Some are under the rule of
love, others under the rule of justice. It depends on us under
which rule we want to live, because no one is refused the aid of
sufficient grace. I am not frightened at all by my apparent
abandonment. I examine myself more profoundly to discover whether
this is due to my fault. If this is not the case – then may the
Lord be Blessed!
October 1, 1937. Daughter, I need
sacrifice lovingly accomplished, because that alone has meaning
for Me. Enormous indeed are the debts of the world which are due
to Me; pure souls can pay them by their sacrifice, exercising
mercy in spirit.
I understand You words, Lord, and the
magnitude of the mercy that ought to shine in my soul. Jesus: I
know, My daughter, that you understand it and that you do
everything within your power. But write this for the many souls
who are often worried because they do not have the material means
with which to carry out an act of mercy. Yet spiritual mercy,
which requires neither permission nor storehouses, is much more
meritorious and is within the grasp of every soul. If a soul does
not exercise mercy somehow or other, it will not obtain My mercy
on the day of judgment. Oh, if only souls knew how to gather
eternal treasure for themselves, they would not be judged, for
they would forestall My judgment with their mercy.
October 10, 1937. O my Jesus, in
thanksgiving for Your many graces I offer You my body and soul,
intellect and will, and all the sentiments of my heart. Through
the vows, I have given myself entirely to You; I have then nothing
more that I can offer You. Jesus said to me, My
daughter, you have not offered Me that which is really yours. I
probed deeply into myself and found that I love God with all the
faculties of my soul and, unable to see what it was that I had not
yet given to the Lord, I asked, “Jesus, tell me what it is, and
I will give it to You at once with a generous heart.” Jesus said
to me with kindness, Daughter, give Me
your misery, because it is your exclusive property. At
that moment, a ray of light illuminated my soul, and I saw the
whole abyss of my misery. In that same moment I nestled close to
the Most Sacred Heart of Jesus with so much trust that even if I
had the sins of all the damned weighing on my conscience, I would
not have doubted God’s mercy but, wit ha heart crushed to dust,
I would have thrown myself into the abyss of Your Mercy. I
believe, O Jesus, that You would not reject me, but would absolve
me through the hand of Your representative.
You expired, Jesus, but the source of life gushed forth for souls,
and the ocean of mercy opened up for the whole world. O Fount of
life, unfathomable Divine Mercy, envelope the whole world and
empty Yourself out upon us.
At three o’clock implore My mercy,
especially for sinners; and, if only for a brief moment, immerse
yourself in My Passion, particularly in My abandonment at the
moment of agony. This is the hour of great mercy for the whole
world. I will allow you to enter into My mortal sorrow. In this
hour, I will refuse nothing to the soul that makes a request of Me
in virtue of My Passion…
Hail, most merciful Heart of Jesus,
Living Fountain of all graces,
Our sole shelter, our only refuge;
In You I have the light of hope.
Hail, most compassionate Heart of my God,
Unfathomable living Fount of Love
From which gushes life for sinful man
And the spring of all sweetness.
Hail, open Wound of the most Sacred Heart,
From which the rays of mercy issued forth
And from which it was given us to draw life
With the vessel of trust alone.
Hail, God’s goodness, incomprehensible,
Never to be measured or fathomed,
Full of love and mercy, though always holy,
Yet, like a good mother, ever bent over us.
Hail, throne of Mercy, Lamb of God,
Who gave Your life in sacrifice for me,
Before whom my soul humbles itself daily,
Living in faith profound.
End of Notebook Four.
Notebook
1 Page 1 | Notebook
1 Page 2 | Notebook
1 Page 3 | Notebook
2 Page 1 |
Notebook
2 Page 2 | Notebook
3 | Notebook
5 | Notebook
6 |
|
